What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

Paris Hilton claims she has only slept with two people.<div id="teaser2">Paris Hilton has given the world a timely reminder that just because a woman dresses like a cheap, wonk-eyed prostitute she can be a demure and almost unsullied girl at heart (with a wonk-eye). It just goes to show that you can't judge a book by its cover (unless it has the words 'by Jeffrey Archer' on it, then you know it's rubbish). Paris explained to Glamour magazine that despite the image she portrays, she has only slept with two people in her life. Stop laughing at the back!</div>

Media intrusion stops Lindsay Lohan doing charitable work.<div id="teaser2">Everyone on this planet who has said a mean or disparaging remark against Lindsay Lohan (i.e. everyone on this planet) should bow their head in shame, because it means the neediest are suffering. The media are stopping Lindsay from doing useful charity work with their constant sniping you see, and if it wasn't for all the press attention and jibes she'd be off feeding starving children and giving bed baths to HIV sufferers. No, really.</div>

Kid Rock fumes at judge who refuses to allow him to entertain troops.<div id="teaser2">Kid Rock is one of the finest musicians the world has ever seen. Why only last year he had a hit with 'Sweet Home Alabama' though he changed the title to 'All Summer Long' and passed it off as his own creation. It looks like he's nurturing a planet-sized ego to go with his massive talent if his latest outburst is anything to go by.</div>