Jade Goody has emerged from under the bridge where she lives to release a brand new perfume range. Her previous line called 'Shhh...'(something she should try doing) was the third-best selling perfume in Superdrug despite everyone imagining it to smell like lard and unwashed pants.

Fresh from pouring water over Macca's lawyer, Heather Mills is apparently set to whine her way through a new series of US show 'The Apprentice'.

Mr Mariah Carey shows off his modest and tasteful bling. TMZ

Fergie was not drunk when she fell over and hit the pavement, say her lawyers. WWTDD

Mary-Kate Olsen's handbag is still breathing. Celebwarship

Sarah Jessica Parker steals clothes from film sets. Mollygood

Now you too can have hair like Paris Hilton. Don't all rush at once. ICYDK

Stalkers of the world. Here's an auction you simply have to enter. Hollyscoop

Liv Tyler to divorce at last. Her hubby was called Royston Langdon after all. Laineygossip

Nicole Richie's baby looks thrilled to have been born to these parents. ASL

Rihanna – still refusing to admit to dating Chris Brown. This is just a friendly kiss then. Justjared

Eva Mendes in an 'artistic' photo shoot. Defamer

The Legends Ball was held last night but unfortunately no legends could make it, so they had to make do with the Cheeky Girls, Esther Rantzen, Boyzone, David Furnish, Michelle Heaton, Andy Scott-Lee, Gemma Atkinson, Jason Donovan and I could go on but it only gets worse so I may as well stop there.

Just when Paul McCartney thought he was having his best year for a long time, what with having ditched that harridan for mere pocket change and bedding every eligible heiress he could get his thumbs on, now comes the news that he has been voted the most irritating star in an online poll. I'm sure he's sobbing into his piles of cash...

Cindy Crawford sounds like a right laugh. The ex-model has been whining about how sensible she was in the past, concentrating on her career rather than having fun. So, now she's retired, and she's using the spare time and mountains of cash to sit moaning about her life instead of disgracing herself in public as she should. Probably topless.

Mariah Carey has it all. An eight octave vocal range, millions of dollars and now a skanky tattoo that wouldn't look out of place on a prostitute's ankle. Mimi had the tattoo done weeks ago, she has gleefully confessed, so it's surprising that no one has seen it yet, since she's famous for tottering that Cabbage Patch doll body around in clothes the size of a Mars bar wrapper.

In what looks like a completely invented story, Star magazine is claiming that Britney Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline are back on speaking terms. And a little bit more, because the pair regularly engage in frantic bouts of telephone sex with each other, despite the fact their bitter divorce is still crawling through the courts.

Oh dear, Kerry Katona is going to be ploughing through her packet of B&H and reaching for the nearest bottle of high percentage alcohol when she hears what Brian McFadden's been saying about their children. He has reportedly commented that his children's accents sound "skanky". What does he expect them to sound like, Princess Di?