THIS WEKE: XCAPE FROM SELL BLOCK "H"
TA RAN TA RAH! a golden sun burst thruogh the CLOUDS outside wornwud scrubes nick a mitey korus of sparow blakbird pidgin and grate TIT launch into joyfull song pasing motorist toot horn in suport CHEERS CHEERS peat hav reganed his FREDOM!
THIS WEKE: XCAPE TO VIKTORY
as you KNO the prisen regeme is BRUTAL wot with sqeaky bunks itchey blanket boild EGG wich is not freerang no FABRIK CONDITONER on prisen undies limited range of "news"papers wot about the TELEGRAFH eh?
also poor reseption on radio 4 having to do JANKERS boo hiss and of corse random xplosions of VILENCE over the tinyest of SLITES e.g. i want to watch locasion locasion locasion but GOCK WAN is on the other side hang on wot about come DINE with me biff bash ouch groo help then mr MACKIE and mr BAROCLUF intervene in due CORSE.
THIS WEKE: NNE MAGAZINE SINGELS REVIEW SPECIEL
time pass xceedingly SLOLY when one is inkarserated becos of the dredful MASHINATIONS of power i.e. brutel screws wake one up with only a cup of p.g. tips and copey of daley miror wich hav not bene IRONED then down to BREKFAST BUFEY for sossidges wich hav gon COLD fride egg wich hav gon HARD no KOKO POPS only ordinarey rise chripspies chiz chiz it is hell on ERTH.
THIS WEKE: NO MISTER DOEHERTY I XPECT YOU TO DIE
a view to a PILL! from hogston with LUV! live and let DIET and bekome woryingly THIN! on her magesties secret DRUGGS! doktor no no no! moonBLAAAAAKEr!
yes the dredfuel tabloids hav had a FEILD DAY wot with the xciting news that singeing sensasion and picky eater AMEY WORMHORSE hav bene chosen to rekord the theme song for the new JAMS BOND film by the way do anebode hav a clue wot a QANTAS OF SOLACE is gosh i hav no idear is it to do with the OSTRALIAN NATIONAL AIRLINE?
THIS WEKE: WOT THE "PAPERS" SA
as all reggular reders will KNO it is a konstant uphill battel for peat to manetane some sembellence of TRUTH and DIGNETEY in the face of persistent invensions on beharf of her magesties PRESS.
THIS WEKE: THE KURSE OF PLAGUERISM
hello loyel reders this weke you find peat in a JOLEY MITEY BATE o wot is the reson i here you ask tell us go on go o you MITE.
is it becos CATE is mareying her dredful old age penisoner fiarncey JAMMIE MINCE from independent rock gruop the kill's no it is NOT i wish the hapey cuple all the best HEM HEM and hope cate donot bore pore jammie to deth by making him rede every inch of the "news"paper in case it sa o look cate hav a new HARCUT. i also hoape sosiety will look KINDLEY on the pore WIDDOW CATE when jammie is inevvitabley clamed by his advansing YERES ie in about 5 minuits.
THIS WEKE: THE LOWWER DEPPTHS
helo reders mite i begin this weke on a SEROUS NOTE? as you kno we ar put on this EARTH for a purpose be it to share our KNOLEGE to provvide a impruving xample to the YUONG PPL or simpley to briten the lives of our felow suferers with a MEREY SONG. otherwise it is a case of man hand on MISSEREY to man it depen like a KOSTAL SHELF (eng. lit) and in the longrun we ar all BUGERED.
THIS WEKE: THE RORE OF THE GREESE PAINT, THE SMEL OF THE CROUD
good day reders conosewers and patrems of the ARTS thankyou for droping by to peats litel ARTISTIK SALLON obvously you hav herd the GRATE NEWS wich is that peat and former colaborator laitly unsucesfull pop star and grate weed CARL BARET are to reunite and rite a MUSICKAL cheers cheers cheers tikertape fall from celeing trumpet pla fanfair beatiful madens apere bereing flours and loral reeths it is like ANCEINT ROAM.
THIS WEKE: HEROE OF THE HOUR
helo reders i tel you WOT you are joley lucky to get a collum at all this weke for peat hav bene out CARROUSING to the brake of DAWN at the NNE AWARDS cheers cheers cheers no aktualey not cheers at all it is a FRITEFUL BOAR.
