Looking like a Pepperami topped with baler twine, Paris is the scion of
the hotel and property clan and related to those two other shining
examples of sane and balanced female behaviour, Zsa Zsa Gabor and
Elizabeth Taylor. Despite being best known for an amateur porn video
that’s about as arousing as the sweepings from a barber’s floor, the
extent of Paris Hilton’s other publicity seeking activities is, for
someone with less talent than a piece of used Blu-Tack, quite
staggering.
The world has Donald Trump, an angry man with hair more elaborately
constructed than the Palace of Versailles, to blame for Hilton first
getting wet at the sound of a popping flashbulb. She signed to his
model agency in 2000 aged 19 and, although that wonky eye is deceptive,
hasn’t looked back since. What’s followed has been nothing more that a
meteoric rise to the very apex of worthless celebrity despite being a
vain, pointless, racist, back stabbing, drink driving bitch.
Among the many things Hilton has stood there and vacantly giggled and
twittered to, are a chain of nightclubs she never went to, bestselling
books she didn’t write, videogames she’d never play, perfumes she’d
never wear and encouraging America’s youth to vote when she neither
registered nor voted herself.
What she has done, apart from a procession of similarly ridiculous sons
of Greek shipping magnates, pornographers and rich twats like Brandon
Davis, is appear in a succession of B-grade films and mock her
clamouring public on TV series The Simple Life. Hilton has also
released the excruciating album Paris, listening to which is akin to
putting your head in a jar of angry wasps while underfed piranha chew
at your salted buttocks.
Although most recently Hilton has continued to clutter up the pages of
the world’s media by repeatedly getting pinched for drunk driving and
being recorded using the charming phrases “nigger”, “chink” and
“faggot”, she’ll forever remain known for one single thing; that scores
of sweat and hormone charged teenage boys have tugged themselves into a
coma trying to get an erection at the sight of Hilton riding a cock
with all the expertise of a kitten driving a tank.
PARIS HILTON VIDEOS
Uses the 'N' word, dances with her sister and looks like a twat