WHO: Lindsay Dee Lohan WHEN: 2 July, 1986 WHERE: New York City, USA WHAT: Actress, party girl, irritant HEIGHT: 5 ft 6 in KNOWN FOR: Getting smashed and flashing her fanny (See also Spears, Britney & Hilton, Paris), bad blog writing, husky voice, Freaky Friday, that's it.

You’ve already seen more than you could ever want to of Lindsay Lohan and her malformed mimsy, something that’s been put on display more often than a brickie’s arse cleft, so what else is there to say about her?

Well, for someone who is actually a reasonably talented young actress, she’s doing a very good impression of going off the rails faster that a train out of Paddington.
The spoilt daughter of a convicted fraudster and a mother/chaperone far too interested in enjoying her offspring’s fame, money and party lifestyle, rather than trying to set a reasonable example to her wayward child, Lohan is proving herself to be a producer’s nightmare.
Originally that most sickening and precocious of things, a child model, Lohan graduated to acting before adding a third means of inflicting herself on the public gaze, having a short-lived singing career that can mostly be summed up with the word ‘unmemorable’. Be thankful for small mercies.

However, Lohan first started to hit the tittle-tattle pages during a ludicrous playground spat with Hilary Duff, another actress with a none-more mediocre singing career. From there she graduated to hanging out with the real morons, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and the like, inevitably moving on from being trollied in clubs to crashing cars and failing to turn up for film shoots.
The most famous and most hilarious Lohan incident (apart from when Brandon Davies, richer than Croesus, dimmer than lard, egged on by celebrity Twiglet Paris Hilton, decided to lay into Lohan, mocking her $ 7 million worth and calling her a “firecrotch”. Why he couldn’t just say she had ginger pubes is beyond us.) was her humiliation at the hands of the producers of the film ‘Georgia Rule’, Morgan Creek.

Sick of her failure to turn up to work on time, claiming “exhaustion” and “not feeling well”, Morgan Creek sent a swingeing open letter threatening to sue her into the ground unless she curb her all-night partying and actually arrive on set when supposed to. Among the choicer accusations were that she was “discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional”, and had “acted like a spoiled child and in doing so alienated many of her co-workers”. Served.

Since then, with the exception of regularly parading her fanny around for all to see like a tuppenny whore trying to attract business, she has been disappointingly well behaved. Don’t expect it to last.

LINDSAY LOHAN VIDEO:

Paris and Brandon Davis slag off Lindsay Lohan


Lindsay Lohan: Paris is a cunt


Lindsay Lohan: 'Paris hit me'