WHO: Kate Moss aka Katherine Ann Moss WHEN: 16 January, 1974 WHERE: Addiscombe, Surrey, UK WHAT: Clothes horse, cocaine fiend HEIGHT: 5 ft 7 in KNOWN FOR: Hoofing cocaine like there’s no tomorrow, looking good in a frock, saying absolutely nothing, inexplicably shagging Pete Doherty.

There are two general opinions of Kate Moss, the kind of person she is and her career.

The first subscribes to the view that not only was she lucky enough to have been given clear, radiant skin, an elegant frame and a beautiful face, but that she is also a genius. Moss is not simply a clothes horse, but her natural instinct for fashion means she has inspired numerous women’s wear trends over the last 15 or more years. What’s more, she lives the kind of glamorous, monied lifestyle people would kill for, maintains her enigma by refusing to do interviews and has had the pick of some of the most handsome and charismatic men of our times. And Pete Doherty.

What complete bollocks, others might argue. Moss is a coke devouring hatchet-faced bony-arsed harridan who only keeps up her media silence because she has both the screeching voice of a Croydon fishwife and is thicker than a brace of elephants bookended by two battleships. So dim, in fact, is Moss that she still has no idea how to send an email or a text message.
Further to this, Moss is no fashion genius. Simply by wearing the clothes she is given she has inspired slavish copying by hordes of idiotic women who don’t have the wit to work out what looks good themselves. Hence all bar the blind have had to suffer the sight of women with fat arses squeezing themselves in to skinny jeans in the deluded belief that they too can look attractive. Thankfully, even they have had the sense not to pick up Moss’ habit of wearing hot pants. Yet.

And what of the men? Well, Moss hasn’t exactly been a model of restraint, latching on to the latest rock star or actor who has got the clamouring hags of the gossip pages twittering on that week. But then again, we’ve all picked up some shockers when completely blitzed, and when you’ve been hammered as frequently and for as long as Moss has, there’s a certain inevitability to it all.

And it’s hardly being an upstanding example of parenthood to take on a cocaine, crack and heroin addicted boyfriend and invite him to share your and your pre-teen daughter’s home. It was even less wise of Moss to allow Doherty’s ridiculous flunkies, hangers on, junkie band mates and management to film her taking drugs and then sell the video to the press.

Despite everything that’s known about Moss’ cluelessness, fondness for booze and chemicals, and boringly fractious relationship with the best one-man argument against all drugs ever, she continues to get away with it. God alone knows why.

KATE MOSS VIDEO:

Coke video


with Pete –KP Nuts


Kate Moss Little Britain