JORDAN & PETER ANDRE

WHO: Peter Andre and Katie Price aka Jordan, aka Katrina Alexandra Infield WHEN: 27 February, 1973 and 22 May, 1978 WHERE: NHarrow, London and Brighton, East Sussex (via Australia). WHAT: Pop muppet and glamour girl turned reality TV whores. HEIGHT: 5 ft 2 in and 5 ft 9 in. KNOWN FOR: Both having rather large breasts, both getting them out on frequent occasions, singing badly and selling every single detail of their lives to the highest bidder.

Katie Price decided one day that she'd like to get into modeling. Where better to start than on Page 3, topless. Considering the face, lucky for her.

Against the wishes of her parents and peers she opted for silicone implants and the mighty Jordan was born. Unfortunately her new breasts were no longer allowed to feature in The Sun due to a new policy; only natural breasts were allowed to take pride of place in print.

Despite this set back Jordan was undeterred, and set out to expose her vast bosom through whichever medium would pay the most.

On her modest quest for fame Katie encountered many obstacles, including Another Level buffoon Dane Bowers (who broke her heart), Dwight Yorke (who fathered her bastard child) and Gareth Gates (whose virginity she stole, but whose stutter she didn't cure.) Despite all this, she still managed to find the time to pen her autobiography which, sadly, is the fourth best selling autobiography in the UK ever.

Arguably her career highlight was her appearance on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, where she met British/Cypriot/Aussie pop fool and chest flasher Peter Andre. Andre previously made a twat of himself singing three UK hits, only one that anyone can remember, Mysterious Girl. In the video he appears soaked and sexually suggestive (but not at all homoerotic) standing under a waterfall.

On IACGMOTH, Andre and Katie’s worlds collided. Their love began to gush right in front of the viewers eyes, much like the money that followed.

Both were soon rolling in after they made a baby, got married and sold the story to the magazine with the highest bid.