Samuel L Jackson tries to steal someone else's car. TMZ

Susan Sarandon and the Mitchell brothers out and about in New York. WWTDD

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes battle for custody of their robotic baby. Dlisted

David Hasselhoff back in the dating game and smooth as ever. NYDailynews

Marilyn Manson's girlfriend looks like… him, really. Celebwarship

Surely Jesus has better things to do with his time than this? Mollygood

Tom Hanks wants even more money. ICYDK

Kate Hudson believes the paparazzi will get bitten in their arses by a car mechanic, or something. Hollyscoop

'Tight at the back,' thinks David Beckham, missing the two big target men up front. Celebslam

Some idiot gave Tori Spelling another job. Will they ever learn? Popbytes

Marilyn Manson looks much scarier without the make-up. TMZ

Sienna Miller, doing what she does best. WWTDD

Amy Winehouse has a couple of little tots. Dlisted

Paula Abdul takes hair styling tips from Donald Trump. Hollywoodrag

Kate Beckinsale may be turning to the dark side. ASL

Elizabeth Taylor – still not dead. Celebwarship

Tom Cruise sick of the sight of Victoria Beckham. Join the club, mate. ICYDK

Britney is writing letters of apology. Probably in green crayon. Hollyscoop

How much did your favourite US star earn last year? Too much, that's how much. WWTDD

Amy Winehouse – addicted to ironing and now her hair fills an alcove. Dlisted

Vanilla Ice should face a prison term for this haircut. Celebwarship

Nelson Mandela is seriously considering going back to Riker's Island prison. Mollygood

When the biggest nutter on the planet avoids you it's time to give up. Hollyscoop

Wherever deodorant and rap meet, Janet Jackson will be in the middle. ASL

Cameron Diaz is prepared to stare at beavers and wrestle a tickly trout. CDL

An anecdote about Tom Cruise that was to feature in the autobiography of Macho Man, the cowboy from the Village People, has been axed after editors started shitting themselves about possible legal action from Cruise.

Did Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend point a gun at a photographer? TMZ

Fergie showing some impressive bladder control as she bounces around the stage. WWTDD

Lily Allen looks like a young-ish Pat Butcher. Dlisted

Victoria Beckham looking unusually thoughtful and dignified. Mollygood

George Clooney gives money for choppers. ICYDK

Naomi Campbell plays the race card in her BA row. Hollyscoop

Sharon Stone in an all-too familiar pose. ASL

Guess what Pamela Anderson got Hugh Heffner for his birthday? SeriouslyOMG

So who would you pick to look after your offspring in the sad event that something untoward should happen to you and you should perish before the fruit of your loins reach adulthood? You would choose someone grounded and reliable and caring but not overbearing, wouldn't you... Not if you're J.Lo...

Poor old Tom Cruise. Since he began talking about his 'religion' at every opportunity his popularity seems to have diminished, as have the numbers of people wanting to ay good money to see his ridiculous head floating about in the cinema. Now 'Valkyrie', his latest snappily-titled film is attracting criticism from all sides. Tom plays Colonel Claus con Stauffenberg, a German general who hatches a plot to kill Hitler. And plays him really badly. With a perfect Californian accent.

Star magazine is claiming that Katie Holmes is finding life with Tom Cruise increasingly difficult. What could be hard about living with a power-crazed madman who is second in command of his own religion? Tsk! These earth women are so weak. Poor human Katie is reportedly suffering from headaches and dizzy spells, so perhaps she has been forced to watch some of Tom's recent films.

Katie Holmes seems to have adopted a ‘If you can’t escape from them, join them’ attitude and is reportedly broody for another child with husband Tom Cruise. ‘Now’ magazine report that this will mean some form of IVF treatment, which Tom has ruled out immediately as it doesn’t sit well with his Scientology religion and it’s well-thought through tenets and beliefs.

Someone is following Tom Cruise. Intergalactic warlord is main suspect. Pagesix

This is not Kristin Davis. She did not make a sex tape. Just to prove it, here's some more pictures. WWTDD

Here's a mercifully short clip of Britney Spears in her comedy cameo. Dlisted

The Joker, off out to dinner with Bratman. Celebwarship

Will Smith still insisting he isn’t converting to Mentalism. Mollygood

Was P Diddly involved in the shooting of Tupac Shakur? ICYDK

Jenna Jameson wants to see a new naked lady. Hollyscoop

Is 'M-Dolla' Madonna's new identity? Towleroad

Donald Trump, the seventeen year-old and lots of vodka. IDLYITW

Will Ferrell is a nice and generous man. Celebitchy

Mariah Carey uses the world 'dichotomy' in an interview! INO

Vince Vaughn fires his manager as he only earns $20m per movie. Justjared

Tori Spelling and her mother. One got the forehead, the other the jaw. Pagesix