If this painful 1 minute and 53 second clip doesn't make you gag, we don't know what will. Here's Victoria and David Beckham attempting humour on Oprah Winfrey by explaining their favourite Tom Cruise films to celebrate his 25 years in the business.

Could David Beckham actually be charisma personified?



And if that's not enough for you after the jump there are some pictures of the couple at the Metropolitan Museum of Art gala thing the other night along with Tom and Katie, an old looking Olsen twin and Janet Jackson, who seems to be missing a neck.

To celebrate 25 years as a successful artist (well, he nearly made it, just falling at the last hurdle) Tom Cruise has finally launched his own official website and guess what? There's no mention of a certain religion that he's rather involved with.

Oh dear, this has got to be one of the most stomach churning celebrity couplings of all time. Half-woman half-android Cher has been talking about her brief romance with half-human half-alien Tom Cruise, claiming she was "crazy" about him. That sentence would work better without the 'about him'.

Do you remember the last time the miniscule mentalist Tom Cruise appeared on Oprah Winfrey's show? You know, the time when he leapt all over the sofa like a demented space monkey, bouncing those stack heels over all the cushions and screaming "I'm in LOOOOOOOOVE! WHOO!" You must remember?

Beyonce did get married earlier this month. Here're the documents. TMZ

A million perverts are envious of a scruffy dog getting close to Natalie Portman. WWTDD

Great magazine cover, because one bullet could finish them all. USAweekend

"You're doing it!" Penelope Cruz in a sex scene with Ben Kingsley. Sorry, SIR Ben Kingsley. Egotastic

Russell Brand forgot to take his nightie off. Dlisted

Ali Lohan is the hardest working teenager in the world. Celebwarship

Why not be a disgusting bastard and bid to buy Barack Obama's half-eaten breakfast. Mollygood

Mariah Carey was 'kidnapped in a golden cage'. And made untold millions from the event. ICYDK

Never thought I'd see this. It's Geri Halliwell talking utter patronising shit. Hollyscoop

Tom Cruise's adopted son to star in Will Smith film. Resistance is useless, Will. ASL

This is how Homer Simpson would look if he were a real human. Like a cartoon with no eyelids, then. Mollygood

Like father like son. Brooklyn and Romeo Beckham are delighted by a massive set of basketball tits. TMZ

Emma Watson forgot her 'Trim-alcio' spell. WWTDD

Carmen Electra turns 36, and doesn't she look delighted? Hollywoodrag

Scientology exposed. The full exposé of former member Jason Beghe, but under a very unfortunate title. Xenutv

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are still 'friendly'. Celebwarship

PETA using dumb animals to promote their cause again. Mollygood

Tom Cruise attempting to scale the upper slopes of Katie Holmes. SeriouslyOMG

Paris Hilton would like a double (shotgun) wedding. Defamer

Hooray for Madonna, as once again she proves that her thumb is nowhere near the pulse of the modern zeitgeist. Not content with continuing her musical career by gyrating around like a raggedy old scarecrow in a leotard (and making the nation get a little bit of sick come into its collective mouth) she has now decided to come out in support of Tom Cruise.

Odd this, but a video of actor Jason Beghe deriding Scientology has been removed from YouTube. The official explanation is that there is a dispute between the file hosting company and the videographer Mark Bunker.

What a different place the world would be if the casting directors of 'Edward Scissorhands' had gone with their first choice of actor for the role instead of the lovely Johnny Depp. Johnny is forthright on the fact that he was not the original choice, with the movie company wanting a more established star.