A few lucky fans managed to see Pete Doherty perform his unique brand of bland at the Powers Bar in Kilburn on Wednesday night after the low-key gig was announced via the internet. You can tell the quality of an artist by the quality of the fans, so guess which artist would have the most misguided, self-obsessed and foolish fans around? Step forward Pete and your legion of misfits, pretentious kids and downright criminally idiotic...

Kate Moss is apparently set to marry boyfriend Jamie Hince from band The Kills, who is possibly even uglier than Pete Doherty, although arguably more hygienic.

Hugh Laurie is modest and annoying at the same time. Dlisted

Lindsay Lohan and her little sister party until 10pm, the rascals! Celebwarship

A man who married Roseanne believes he can help Britney. ICYDK

Colin Farrell comes clean about his Rice Krispie addiction at last. INO

Celine Dion - voice of an angel, legs of a Premiership footballer. ASL

Paul McCartney goes for the Pete Doherty look. Not an impressive sight. CDL

Patsy Kensit realises going bra-less is the only way for her to get noticed. IDLYITW

Donald Trump has been passing on the 'difficult hair' genes. PageSix

Dennis Quaid might be 53 but he could kick your head clean off. Towleroad

Honestly, talk about the blind leading the blind... On the drugs again/off the drugs again and probably on the drugs again last night Pete Doherty has been asked to appear in a new reality show intended to help young heroin addicts. Is that to 'help' or to 'help overdose'? Pete will share needles with encourage young users to stay off drugs.

OK, so we knew he was a cock and we knew he smoked, but we didn't know he was a cock smoker to boot! Pete Doherty has just posted this video of him smoking 'an undisclosed substance' in a bong shaped like a chicken. One to show the grand kids.

The NME Awards were held last night and the results were pretty much the same as The Brits so we don't really see what the point is in having both. And obviously they got the word 'hero' confused with the word 'twat' as that's the only explanation for why Pete Doherty won anything.

According to The Sun, Pete Doherty is going up in the world and despite only making a profit of £29k last year has turned down a modelling job that didn't meet his £30,000 price tag. WTF?

Pete Doherty is £15,000 better off after a Californian tycoon - who lives up to the old adage of having more money than sense - paid that ludicrous amount to see the Babyshambles man do a private performance in his living room.

Pete Doherty has announced that he is to play the Royal Albert Hall and someone has actually taken him seriously and booked the venue for the night. Quite how he intends to fill this sizable auditorium is unknown, but there'd better be one hell of a guest list to get the place even half full. It's a solo gig, so even Babyshambles' other members won't be there.