PARIS HILTON BLOG

PARIS HILTON GOSSIP, NEWS, PICTURES, VIDEOS & SCANDALS.

WHO: Paris Hilton aka Paris Whitney Hilton
WHEN: 17 February, 1981
WHERE: New York City, USA
WHAT: Socialite and self-proclaimed ‘brand’
HEIGHT: 5 ft 7½ in
KNOWN FOR: Being filmed having bad sex, saying “It’s hot” in an affected drawl

FULL BIOG ALL STORIES

CRY BABY

Published on Thu 08 May 2008 by

PARIS HILTON DESPERATE FOR A BABY

The world recoils as Paris Hilton announces that she is ready to procreate. Apparently she's desperate to have a baby. But probably only in the same way she's desperate for that new dress/pair of shoes/sunglasses/hat etc. And Paris thinks she would be a good mother because she likes animals. But she was reported to have 17 dogs at one point so God help us all.

NEWSMOUND

Published on Tue 22 April 2008 by

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

This is how Homer Simpson would look if he were a real human. Like a cartoon with no eyelids, then. Mollygood

Like father like son. Brooklyn and Romeo Beckham are delighted by a massive set of basketball tits. TMZ

Emma Watson forgot her 'Trim-alcio' spell. WWTDD

Carmen Electra turns 36, and doesn't she look delighted? Hollywoodrag

Scientology exposed. The full exposé of former member Jason Beghe, but under a very unfortunate title. Xenutv

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are still 'friendly'. Celebwarship

PETA using dumb animals to promote their cause again. Mollygood

Tom Cruise attempting to scale the upper slopes of Katie Holmes. SeriouslyOMG

Paris Hilton would like a double (shotgun) wedding. Defamer

NEWSMOUND

Published on Fri 18 April 2008 by

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

Noel Fielding takes the 'Vince Noir' nihilism a bit too far. Dlisted

Tony Curtis about to run amok around Westworld. TMZ

Emma Watson is now 18 and worth £20m. Form a queue, gentlemen. WWTDD

Joe Calzaghe would punch Al Pacino, but he's made of mahogany and looks like a middle-aged lesbian. Dlisted

Brooklyn Beckham's next birthday present is sorted. Jezebel

Britney's ex-manager still not allowed within 250 yards of her. Celebwarship

Akon is more like Billy Liar than Biggy Smalls. Mollygood

Paris Hilton in tribute to great musical and literary figures. The Smurfs. ICYDK

Oh dear! The next 'Incredible Hulk' film may be even worse than the first after Ed Norton has more hissy fits than Graham Norton. ASL

Jude Law's hairline is growing into the 'Batman' symbol. Splash

Nicolas Cage must be so proud of his lovely little son. TMZ

ITV4 throws its hands in the air and screams "Fuck it! I give up!" DS

NEWSMOUND

Published on Wed 16 April 2008 by

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

Fat people ruin Disney ride. TMZ

Jodie Marsh without make-up. You have been warned. Dlisted

Worst film ever? It's never a good sign if you have to phonetically spell a word in the title for your audience. Comingsoon

Nicole Kidman is five months pregnant. With a baby pea, by the look of her. Celebwarship

Six months of Britney Spears' personal video diaries are ready for release. Mollygood

'Escape To Prick-tory'. Michael Caine's tackle makes a break for it. Celebslam

Madonna to play live online. Stay away from the internet on May 15. ICYDK

Now you can buy Paris Hilton's fake hair. If you'd want such a thing. Yeeeah

Scientology works its magic in Norway. Gawker

COTTAGE PLEAS

Published on Wed 16 April 2008 by

PARIS HILTON IS NASTY TO HER FORMER BEST FRIEND

Paris Hilton was being quizzed on the radio in the US recently and came up with a shocking answer. Naturally she wasn't being asked questions on challenging subjects such as the alphabet or her five times table, but on a subject closer to her black little heart – celebrities and their looks.

PARIS NO MATES

Published on Mon 14 April 2008 by

PARIS HILTON FAILS TO ATTRACT FRIENDS

Is Paris Hilton turning into the US version of Jodie Marsh? The British 'model' with a nose like an angry weekend in Istanbul famously failed to attract any eligible bachelors when she attempted to whore herself up the aisle by asking for suitable suitors for a reality show. In a similar vein, Paris Hilton was underwhelmed by people wanting to appear on her latest reality show, which sought to find an ocean of idiots who would pretend to be her new best friend forever.

CAN'T BUY ME LOVE

Published on Wed 09 April 2008 by

PARIS HILTON WOULD LIKE TO BUY A CHEETAH

Paris Hilton had a lovely time last week in Africa, where she tried to sell the idea of five -star hotels and luxury shoes to a population more worried about where their next meal was coming from. Actually, that's a joke. Paris isn't allowed near any genuinely poor people as it might fry her synapses and cause her face to swivel off revealing a great big mess of wires (and a slightly misaligned eye).

I WANT IT TO STOP

Published on Thu 03 April 2008 by

CHANELLE ABOUT TO RELEASE DEBUT SINGLE 'I WANT IT'

Chanelle Hayes from Big Brother (the one who wanted to look like Posh Spice, so not Chantelle who wanted to look like Paris Hilton) is just about to release her debut single, 'I Want It'. And on a scale of one to ten (ten being so bad you're almost tempted to slit your wrists) it's probably just below Rebecca Loos's effort at number nine.

EMPIRE STATE

Published on Mon 31 March 2008 by

PARIS HILTON IS A HARD-WORKING EMPIRE BUILDER

Be honest, when the name 'Paris Hilton' is mentioned are you more likely to think of a tireless role model who has worked hard to be where she is today, or a talentless, spoilt, wonk-eyed skeleton who is only famous for giving really bad blow jobs in a leaked porn clip?

OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!

Published on Fri 28 March 2008 by

PARIS HILTON TRIES HER HAND AT BELLY DANCING

Paris Hilton has now left the beautiful country of West Africa and made her way to Turkey. There she will attempt to negotiate a truce between the Kurdish guerrilla forces who make raids daily from their encampments in the hills into the government-controlled… No, hang on, she's there to be a judge in Miss Turkey 2008.

In a complete surprise she is hauled up onstage for a spot of impromptu belly dancing which was in no way pre-planned or staged whatsoever, or at all. Oh no. Commentary after the jump...

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