Maybe Johnny Depp is not so sensible after all. ASL

Well she's already done nudity and 'Herbie', so with a career in tatters, how else will Lindsay Lohan make a million bucks nowadays? After weeks of being photographed with 'close friend' DJ Samantha Ronson, and calling herself Lindsay Ronson, Lindsay has been offered the payday by a trashy mag who said, "Just come out to make it a real relationship or stop being a lipstick lesbian because you've got cock fatigue" (or something like that).

Big Brother contestants show their two best assets. IDLYITW

Angelina Jolie says she feels sexy whilst pregnant. Vanity Fair photos support this theory. Celebwarship

Tom Cruise has massively expensive party with a few close friends. Hollyscoop

Bill Murray likes the odd drink, orgy and pot smoking session. His wife doesn't. IDLYITW

Denise Richards debates the pros and cons of looking like an 'Eighties high class hooker'. Perezhilton

New Sarah Jessica Parker website confirms what we've all been thinking for a while. SJPlookslikeahorse

Lohan goes in to hospital for genuine illness shocker! Laineygossip

Liv Tyler can't quite believe what Rumer Willis looks like. Dlisted

Debbie Gibson's stalker goes free, thanks to Debbie Gibson. TMZ

Sarah Jessica Parker and her 'strong features' out at another film premiere. WWTDD

Scarlett Johansson naked and you can't see a damn thing. Egotastic

Ali Lohan has the oldest, most cynical and world-weary 14 year-old face in the world. Celebwarship

Mariah Carey holding a baseball whilst dressed as a Salford prostitute. Mollygood

Indiana Jones is actually going to marry the Crystal Skull? Hollyscoop

Patrick Swayze reasonably points out he'll probably fight cancer before appearing in 'Point Break 2'. ICYDK

Jamie Lynn Spears done got herself some good eatin's an' drinkin's from the store. CDL

It's not gossip, but 'Cat Ladies' might be the most unsettling Photoshop site ever. Dlisted

Ashley Olson and her bug eyes go to a premiere. LaineyGossip

Mel B's husband gives her a slap and gets a fleshy ripple. Top marks for the shadow in this picture too. TMZ

German newspaper claims that Amy Winehouse doesn't leave home without a nappy. WWTDD

Pete Wentz looking like more of a twat than usual. Dlisted

Guess who's a big fan of Lindsay Lohan's music? Celebwarship

Alanis Morissette is honestly not bothered about her ex getting engaged to Scar-Jo. Honestly. Mollygood

Ben and Jerry produce the not at all tacky 'John Lennon' ice cream at last. ICYDK

Pink speaks up for Australian sheep. Plenty of time on her hands then? Hollyscoop

Colin Farrell looking like a greasy, thin tramp. Hopefully it's for a movie role. Laineygossip

Katie Holmes is relaxed, happy and beautiful. And yes, Tom Cruise is 5000 miles away from her. ASL

Matthew McConaughey's brother 'Rooster' is in a reality show. And he named his son 'Miller Lite'. Clearly a great man. Justjared

Paul McCartney gets a doctorate from Yale University but accepts it dressed as a nun. TMZ

Lindsay Lohan – despite photographic evidence, is emphatically NOT gay. WWTDD

Mariah Carey shows off her wedding ring in Japan in typically shy fashion. Dlisted

Looks like Natalie Portman is dating an evil hypnotist. Celebwarship

Charlie Sheen is less than charming in a text to his ex-wife. Mollygood

Johnny Depp is a nice man – yet another installment. ICYDK

Madonna finds a way to avoid those annoying Malawian visas. Hollyscoop

The sexiest celebrities over the age of 50. There's a few 'would's' here too. Laineygossip

Pamela Anderson failing to go gently into that dark night. ASL

Is this why exhibitionist David Beckham always chooses to play for teams with white shorts? SeriouslyOMG

Glastonbury. Drugs, booze and rubbish tattoos. How will Amy Winehouse fit in? Yahoonews

Melanie Griffith – tiger-print dress and panda eyes is always a great look. ICYDK

Lock up your aunties, Jodie Foster is single again. Dlisted

What is the point of Dita Von Teese, and why is she is still famous? Celebwarship

David Letterman takes no prisoners. Even if they're a 14-year-old Lohan. Mollygood

Is Goldie Hawn-ing herself around Cannes. Laineygossip

Steven Tyler goes into rehab. What a massive fucking shock (again). ASL

Basic Quimstinct – Sharon Stone is up to her old tricks again. IDLYITW

The New York Post are reporting that Lindsay Lohan is being sued for stealing a woman's fur coat from a nightclub. Criminal mastermind Lindsay clearly believed she had carried out the perfect crime, despite the fact she was pictured going into the club not wearing a coat and then snapped leaving the club with a rather expensive item of animal skin. Dammit! How was she rumbled?

Another day, another teaser clip of what promises to be this year's finest car crash television – 'Living Lohan'. If this clip is the only media to survive a nuclear war then future generations will believe that all humans at this time had no sense of irony or self-consciousness. Oh, and that we all deserved to die. And they'd be right.

Lindsay Lohan relaxes by strolling through weeds in a bikini. TMZ

Scarlett Johansson singing live, though 'singing' might be stretching it a bit. WWTDD

Classy Lily Allen is sick of flashing her boobs, so now here's her undergrowth. Dlisted

Colin Farrell taking method acting a bit far. Celebwarship

Hot, hot news on Suri Cruise. Mollygood

Nicole Kidman is having his child and Keith Urban is still the dullest man on the planet. ICYDK

Ellen DeGeneres' wedding is going to be a tacky affair if Timberlake has his way. Hollyscoop

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had an 'Alice In Wonderland' wedding theme. Cheery. INO

Brad Pitt's family tattoo explained at last. Defamer