Poor old Kate Moss. After suffering the cruel blows of the fates which burdened her with a chubby heroin addict stinking up her bed for the best part of two years, our tragic heroine is now being plagued by 'stalkers'...

Surprisingly, the inhabitants of St. John's Wood in London are delighted that Kate Moss has moved into their neighbourhood. Since the supermodel moved into her £8m mansion there, it appears that crime rates have dropped dramatically, though the pretentious twat ratio has risen to unacceptable levels.

Famous children, mums and families beware - for the nominations for the great poisoned chalice that is Celebrity Mum of the Year have been announced...

Michael Jackson is not my father. Is he? SeriouslyOMG

Paris Hilton doesn't kiss girls... unless she has her top off. Celebwarship

Paris Hilton goes out with her new girlfriend. Dlisted

What is Gerard Depardieu so captivated by? Sophia Loren's breasts, obviously. SeriouslyOMG

Kate Moss plans to get married. Hollywoodrag

While Pete Doherty turns to a man, who actually looks grubbier than him. Perezhilton

Katie Holmes gives us another clue as to who isn't the father of Suri. Femalefirst

Celebrities do a good deed. Mollygood

J.Lo giving birth? Do we care? ICYDK

Liv Tyler seems delighted to be at the beach. Celebwarship

First sight in five years of Tom Cruise's adopted son Connor. Mollygood

Ladies! Ever tucked your skirt into your knickers? Lindsay Lohan has. SeriouslyOMG

Kate Moss looking rough after her birthday bash. Justjared

Sir Ben Kingsley in pleasant and relaxed mood. ASL

Handy glossary to explain what Tom Cruise was talking about in that video. MTV

Chris Martin shows his hard man side in video. WWTDD

More from the Tom Cruise Scientology video. He's not mad, you know, just saluting a picture of L Ron Hubbard... TMZ

Some Kate Moss birthday party pics. It looks like a real hoot... Hollyscoop

Ah! So that's what happened to Tom Cruise's two other children. Fobbed off on his sister. SeriouslyOMG

The latest craze from the US is called 'getting pregnant'. You'll all be doing it soon. WWTDD

The Church of Scientology reacts calmly to the posting of THAT Tom Cruise video. Dlisted

If '300' had been made about cats... Collegehumor

Lindsay Lohan fools nobody with her disguise. Celebwarship

Rich as anything? Why not stay at Robert De Niro's New York hotel? Cityrag

Sunglasses at night? Scientologists can see in the dark, dammit! Mollygood

'Take me out tonight' sings Mel B in 'Rent'. Unfortunately, no one did. Dlisted

It's Kate Moss's 34th birthday today (happy birthday!) so there's sure to be a shindig of epic proportions that will probably last until this time next week.

If you were a rich, multi-millionaire fashion designer you'd probably spend the majority of your waking hours surrounded by famous people fawning over your creative talent blah blah blah...

While you and I work our fingers to the bone just to keep out of the poorhouse, the news emerges sheepishly that Kate Moss 'earned' a staggering £5m last year, despite looking older and tattier then ever and spending a large proportion of the year with  12 stone of ravaged and pus-riddled skin hanging off her arm - or Pete Doherty as he is better known.

Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't making it easy for the paparazzi. I like her. TMZ

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Buffy the Tiny Wave Slayer. WWTDD

What everyone is thinking about Tom and Katie. Dlisted

Brad Pitt makes a very cute baby. Towleroad

Kate Moss in Japanese Vogue. Nipples ahoy! Cityrag

Video evidence of Lindsay Lohan flinging herself off the wagon. Celebwarship

Jordan to star in 'Desperate Housewives'? She is one, after all. SeriouslyOMG

Fergie and her fiancé. Not mental at all. IDLYITW

Here we go again. Pamela Anderson IS getting divorced. Hollyscoop

Jamie Lynn Spears needs to dust off that CV. ASL