Janet Jackson attempts to look like a perfume bottle and succeeds. Sorry, Miss Jackson. TMZ

This is either Lily Allen or Jade Goody topless. WWTDD

Christina Aguilera looking like Penelope Pitstop crossed with Jordan. Dlisted

Rumer Willis's unusual face may be launching a singing career, just like daddy. ASL

Chloe Sevigny not looking so great in glasses. Websterismybitch

Ryan Adams offering to show Mandy Moore his 'Heartbreaker'. Celebwarship

Doherty and Winehouse in 'Dawn of the Deadbeats'. Mollygood

Mariah Carey's new name simply isn't cricket. ICYDK

Jennifer Aniston may be in love with John Mayer. The world rejoices. Laineygossip

Steve-O giggles but his bail bondsman might have known cameras would be present, judging by his t-shirt. Bauergriffinonline

Claudia Schiffer tries to look sexy by wearing only panties and a mask. Oh, it worked! CDL

Jamie Lynn Spears taking it easy in her sixth month of pregnancy. WWTDD

Britney Spears back on TV doing comedy, but scripted this time. ASL

Colin Firth gets his 'Mr Darcy' photographed in the toilet. Celebitchy

Halle Berry out and about with her milky duds. Celebwarship

Heather Locklear appears to be having a severe allergic reaction to water. Yeeeah

Don't hassle the Hoff or he'll rub his sweaty tits all over you. Mollygood

"I'm no harlot!" shouts Scarlett Johansson, through those full, luscious red lips. ICYDK

Whoopi Goldberg insists Wesley Snipes is a victim. Yep, of his own greed. Contactmusic

Rumer Willis is not feeding off her parents' fame. What does she actually do, though? Hollyscoop

Salma Hayek is influenced by David Beckham's new look. Dlisted

Not much chance of Jordan starring in the next Tarantino movie. Celebritypuke

Dita Von Teese looks older than her mother. Dlisted

Sharon Stone either likes a drink or has spent far too much time in the sun. SeriouslyOMG

Camilla Parker Bowles finally get Princess Diana's approval. TMZ

David Beckham gives us an image we'd rather not have. Femalefirst

Jordan keeps it casual and understated. Dlisted

Rumer Willis and Pete Wentz share the same hairdresser. Justjared

Olivia Newton John gave birth to Pete Burns. Perezhilton

Chrisitna Ricci says it's stupid to play a stripper. Celebitchy

Ever since she had some of the marzipan siphoned off her novelty breasts last year, it seems as though Jordan can't open her mouth without banging on about the merits of having a smaller chest.

Get your ear plugs at the ready (or your razor blades) because Jordan and Peter Andre are about to make another album. Yes, they made an album, who could forget the Aladdin inspired 'A Whole New World'? But surely they've sung all the Disney duets there are?

Jordan and Peter Andre (who only manage to look tasteful when compared with Kerry Katona and Mark Croft) are taking a trip down memory lane - to the jungle where they first met on 'I'm A Celebrity...'. But unfortunately, they will be coming back.

Jordan (who's slowly turning into a bag of skin and bones with two beach balls on top) has decided to talk about the size zero debate and say that looking like a bag of skin and bones isn't sexy. Even though she thinks Victoria Beckham looks great. Jordan was speaking about her George at Asda range of lingerie where she used 'normal' women to model - and by normal she means they weren't the width or colour of a peperami.

If you missed these from yesterday, here is Jordan was posing in her new new range of underwear for George at Asda (classy). And we'll give her this, it's nothing if not a masterclass in how to make yourself look good by juxtaposition...

Katie Price (or Jordan, depending on whether she's flashed her boobs that day) is apparently about to splash out on her very own private jet. Jordan (who obviously doesn't have a head for numbers) has somehow worked out that it would be more cost-effective to buy her own plane, at £4.5m, than fork out the £150,000 she spent on flights this year alone. However we're not sure what type of calculator she used to work that out.