DOCTORS SAY AMY WINEHOUSE MUST QUIT DRUGS OR DIE

THE AWARD FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS GOES TO...

Published on Wed 18 June 2008 by roryk

DOCTORS SAY AMY WINEHOUSE MUST QUIT DRUGS OR DIE

How much do doctors earn? Your average GP gets well over £100,000 so you've got to suppose that a specialist working at a private clinic will be on a fair bit more than that. And what do they do for all this money? Tell Amy Winehouse she must kick her drug habit or die. I could have told her that for free! But aren't they missing the real reason for the collapse? Without a haircut, Amy may never be able to stand upright again...

After collapsing at her Camden home on Monday and being taken to a clinic by her rent- a-gob dad, Amy was apparently told by doctors: "Quit drugs now - or die."

A source told The Sun: "She might have escaped this time, but eventually she won't get up again.

"The only thing to stop that happening is if she quits drugs."

Eventually, none of us will get up again (apart from that character in 'Team America' who says: "I promise - I will never die!").

Has anyone thought that her collapsing might just be because her outrageous nest of a hair-do now weighs more than her spindly frame's maximum load bearing capacity?

Why don't they just evict all the rats that live in there, remove all the kilos of drugs, lop a few feet off its height and she may be able to keep on her feet once more.

DOCTORS, amY WINEHOUSE, QUIT DRUGS OR DIE, beehive, hospital, clinic, mitch, dad, ambulance, collapse,

pass it on print article

WALK THE BANK
MEAT THE BEATLES
YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA BE MY LOVER
THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB
IS THIS THE GREATEST NAME IN THE WORLD?

IS IT ANY BLUNDER
HBO NO-NO
OWN GOALY MOLY
NEWSMOUND
HELP PROTECT DOLLY PARTON'S 'MOUNTAINS'

COMMENTS

		MrsMoon on Wed 18 June 2008 said... I don't think it's the drugs that will kill her, she will die like Joseph Merrick the elephant man, in a touching moment of wanting to sleep flat like normal people, she removes all the pillows, lays down and the weight of her enormous hair will cause neck disolaction and death.
		DirtyBeppe on Wed 18 June 2008 said... God - if she does turn her toes up she'll get the instant 'legend' and 'misunderstood genius' label from every angle of the media. And that'll enough to drive any fucker towards skag.
		claire on Wed 18 June 2008 said... Is she dead yet?
		Sable on Wed 18 June 2008 said... Actually, your average GP gets nothing like that much. Don't believe the government spin; it's bollocks. Yes they get a good wodge, but they have to study for ten years to get it and one single wrong decision can see them lose their livelihood permanently.
		slinkybackrinkadink on Wed 18 June 2008 said... Are they her only options? Quit drugs or die? I hope she opts for the latter.
		JiggeryCock on Wed 18 June 2008 said... Sable a 'wrong decision' and lifelong penury for any GP in the case above, seems a small price to pay.
		UncleBullshit on Wed 18 June 2008 said... All she has to do is survive for another 20 years and her drug intake and rictus death mask will earn her an MBE for services to the rebellion industry
		merkinhead on Wed 18 June 2008 said... If smack, crack and coke were made by the pharmaceutical cartels GPs would encourage Wino to fill her boots.
		framey on Wed 18 June 2008 said... Yay a legend who has had 1 album and about 1 decent song. Cheers easy.
		Kitty on Wed 18 June 2008 said... Anyone else think her Dad is getting off bigtime re all this. He just loves the attention.
		BlartMonster on Thu 19 June 2008 said... She is such a rat-faced skank of mammoth proportions - I thank fuck that I have not contributed a single penny to that waste-of-shit's riches. Fuckin' hurry up and die, you bloody Hilda Ogden ripoff...
		BustySinclair on Thu 19 June 2008 said... Hopefully she will clean up her act, marry some nice bloke and have 3 or 4 kids and settle into a quiet life of domestic bliss. Thus disappearing into obscurity only to be trotted out every 5 years or so for the 'where are they now?' programmes
		dandyboy on Thu 19 June 2008 said... Looking at the picture I think she's just smelt Pete Doherty.
		billydog on Thu 19 June 2008 said... I like her and find her voice very moving, am I on the wrong webshite dearest?