XENU-PHOBIA

Will Smith. He's not involved with Scientology (he claims) despite the best efforts of uber-recruiter Tom Cruise flashing his dazzling smile towards Smith and demanding that he looks into his eyes (not around the eyes, etc). Some of the crew on Will's latest film, 'Hancock', were surprised by the wrap presents that Wicky-Wicky-Wa-Wa dispensed at the end of filming.

No watches or embossed bomber jackets from the actor. Instead, they were given a voucher which entitled them to a free Dianetics test (to work out their engram levels) at the local Scientology centre.

But Will isn't a Scientologist. He's just a normal guy. He has probably seen how being dependent on such a bizarre and frankly odd 'religion' has messed up his great friend (and non-fellow Scientologist) Tom Cruise's career.

Why, Tom's last film 'Valkyrie' (you know, the one about the Nazi commander who was an all-round nice bloke and did the best he could in difficult circumstances) has been held back from release so many times that it's only a matter of time before it shuffles apologetically straight to DVD (but only if DVD is still a functioning format whenever that happens).

So Will, having no connection with Scientology whatsoever, won't be too concerned that the release of 'Hancock' has been put back indefinitely. There's a problem with the print of the movie, they say. There are no details yet as to who 'THEY' are, but the film will be out soon, hopefully before this tiny, insignificant planet is reduced to rubble by outer space intergalactic warlords. Where's the Men in Black when you need them?