WHAT A SHOWER!

An emotional time was had by all at the baby shower thrown by Jamie Lynn Spears. The family were united (with even big sister Britney allowed out of her compound and permitted to mix with others) meaning that there were around thirty people in attendance, all of whom were sharing virtually identical DNA.

Thirty people certainly counts as an audience to Britney these days, so she took the opportunity to deliver a tearful speech apologising to her family and the troubles that she had put them through in the previous year. This was well-received and forgiveness was duly issued, no doubt helped by the fact that Britney continues to fill their pockets and keep them in trucker hats.

Just to make the whole thing wonderfully Southern and in keeping with a scene from 'Deliverance', the main course consisted of that classy and esteemed dish known as 'Macaroni Cheese'. Mmmm, them's some good eatin's, mama! And congratulations to whichever guest turned up with perhaps the most apt gift of the day for the unborn redneck – a baby vest all done up to look like camouflaged hunting gear.

Whee! It's only a matter of time before Cletus the Foetus will be out there hunting them darn city types, cornering them and making 'em squeal like a pig.