OUT IN ALBION

Surprise, surprise, Pete Doherty will be out of prison next Tuesday after just 29 days. Pete was supposed to spend 14 weeks in jail but deep down, we all knew that he would be let out early.

Pete's sentence was halved and another 18 days were deducted because of prison overcrowding.

And what better way to celebrate finishing your sentence for failing to take a drug test during a suspended sentence for possession of smack than to go on the mother of all benders.

A source told The Sun:

"He's planning to go straight to play a gig – and then get smashed. He wants no business appointments for three days – so he can really go for it."

Don't let him out! Throw away the key! Make an example of him! Bring back hanging!

It's like when you half run over a cat and have to get out and put it out of its misery. You know that he's only going to have a torrid time of it for the next couple of years before finally succumbing to his demons. Why not just end it now.

There could be a really beautiful and moving ceremony where Peat's awful poetry is read out before the hangman slips the noose around his neck and kicks the stool away.

Pete would love it. A proper Albion death.

Anyway, Pete is set to be released on Tuesday next week.

C U next Tuesday...