KISSING COUSINS?

Well done to the New England Historical Genealogical Society (who sound like fun types to have on a crazy night out) who have done years of research and basically found that everyone in the USA is related to each other, something one glance at the Spears clan could have told them already, saving a lot of time and money in the process.

Democrat contender Barack Obama is hoping to become the first black president, despite the fact he is actually already related to six presidents, one of them being… George W. Bush.

Perhaps this is an attempt to smear him late in the day so that Hillary Clinton can sweep to victory?

Maybe not, because it seems that Hillary is also related to Madonna, Alanis Morisette and Celine Dion, a trio of horrible warblers sure to cost votes come election time. Hillary (who I seem to remember is related to Bill Clinton – no extra charge, genealogical guys) is also a very distant cousin of Angelina Jolie (pictured). I would stress the words 'very distant' at this point. And Obama is a distant relation of Brad Pitt.

Well, it's a small world but I wouldn't like to upholster it. Despite its size the USA has a relatively small gene pool due to its short history. Though in theory we can all trace our ancestors back to a small handful of tribes, so there's a very good chance that every single person reading this has some family connection to Jade Goody, who according to some reports actually does have some human properties.

What a terrifying thought. And Geri Halliwell? That's your cousin, that is.