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THE 2012 OLYMPIC CEREMONY WILL INCLUDE...
ANNIE LENNOX AND M PEOPLE
MORRIS DANCING AND KANO
BINGE DRINKING AND BORIS JOHNSON IN A TURBAN
KATE MOSS ASKS DAVID CAMERON TO INSPECT HER PIPES

CAMERON CROWS

KATE MOSS ASKS DAVID CAMERON TO INSPECT HER PIPES

katemossdavidcameronDavid Cameron's pole took a big leap when he met Kate Moss and a recent charity dinner. Sadly she didn't recognise the leader of the Tory Party and thought he was a plumber (because a lot of plumbers get invited to celeb-packed events don't they... that's why they don't answer their phones when your boiler packs up).

We know Cameron isn't a junkie singer in a shit band but he's on TV every five minutes so how can she not know who he is? The very fact the vacant bint owns a house in Cameron's Oxfordshire constituency led Dave to believe they had something in common.

He said: "I remembered we'd had these terrible floods in West Oxfordshire. I said, 'Sorry about the flooding in your house. I know your local pub has been flooded but it's going to re-open in six months.' She turned around and said, 'God, you sound like a really useful guy, can I have your phone number?'" (probably not the first time she'd thought about a 'useful man' and 'toilets').

"I went back to my table," Cameron continued, "telling my friends, 'The good news is I met Kate Moss and she wanted my telephone number. The bad news is, I think she thinks I'm something to do with the drainage."


COMMENTS
Lurgak on Mon 12 November 2007 said...
bugger me with a cricket bat, Mr HM, this is absolute shite. I know the site has been drifting recently, but recycling stuff from Parkinson????? have a word
CaptainCuntflaps on Mon 12 November 2007 said...
I get the feeling Mr HM is going to post an article about the face of Tutankhamen being on display and put up a picture of Brucie, just like Graham Norton and Jonathan Woss did.
thingymabob on Mon 12 November 2007 said...
feels like friday again!!
tigerstail on Tue 13 November 2007 said...
Thats the real "London Look" More like Kate Mccann (sorry )
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