THE SECTRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHAMEABLES
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
THE SECTRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHAMEABLES |
Hullo reders as you will be awar it is a HECKTIC TIME for yor frend and confiddent peat. sing hosana for babyshables are ON TUOR around the brittish iles!
yes, ho for rock and ho for roll, ho for roadys riders grupeys burley securite man soundcheck horibel wedey SUPORT GRUOP probaly the view the cooks or some other rubish TOUR BUS wich smell like a tramps undies T-SHIRTS wich cost £35 pounds LAGER wich tast like a dog hav weed in it and also cost £35 pounds a pint WEMBLEYBURGER with extra chese and ho for DRUGGS wich of corse i do not touch now that i hav embarkt on the RODE OF SOBERIERTY.
yes i am afrade i must admit that the xperence of TUORING is a teribel BOAR wen one hav to do it without the reasuring presence of a big lode of the old gordon broun and a toot on the GLASS TRUMPET to get you thruough the day CHIZ CHIZ.
however nedes must ect ect and so to pass the time and LITEN THE DA i hav compiled the folowing USEFUL GIUDE for my felow suferers:
PEAT'S GIUDE TO DIVERS WEDES TO BE FOUND IN ROCK GRUOPS
1) The DRUMER
The drumer is the BACKBOAN of yor band i.e. he hang around out of site CREKE like an old chare and ACHE like mad. drumers are all TERIBEL WETS and complane all the time saing o peat wen are we goeing to record any of mi songs I MENE AS IF. Old music bussiness JOAK sa:
Q - how do you kno if there is a drumer at yor FRONT DOOR
A - the nocking get FASTER.
However in babyshables it go:
Q - how do you kno if there is a drumer at yor front door
A - slo random nocking confused SHOUTING like hav you got any gere in there? am i still in the band? perhaps some tears and finally police are called.
2) The GIUTARIST
Kepe a close EYE on the giutarist they all think they are the REEL TALLENT in the gruop and will constantly sabbotage yor carefully crafted songs with a big solo wen it is LEAST WANTED.
impresionabel young fans often think the giutarist is the one to watch so often you will hav to GET RID in a RUTHLESS FASHION i.e. just ask MORISEY.
3) The BASE PLAYER
Nobode kno wot the base player do he just stand there at the back looking MENASING and wacking people in the GOB with his base giutar if they clime onstage.
this is not to be SNIFT at. ppl are alwas climeing onstage at babyshabels show and saing for gods sake stop plaing that rubish so a firm CLONK ON THE HOOTER is invaluabel.
There are also maney other weeds wets oiks sneaks and roters to be found in the world of the ROCK GRUOP i.e. tuor mannager kebord player mixing desk man who fix all the CACKOFONY ect ect.
But by far the most important member of the tuoring entorage is the SPIRTUAL ADVISER if you gett mi meneing AND I THINK YOU DO.
however nedes must ect ect and so to pass the time and LITEN THE DA i hav compiled the folowing USEFUL GIUDE for my felow suferers:
PEAT'S GIUDE TO DIVERS WEDES TO BE FOUND IN ROCK GRUOPS
1) The DRUMER
The drumer is the BACKBOAN of yor band i.e. he hang around out of site CREKE like an old chare and ACHE like mad. drumers are all TERIBEL WETS and complane all the time saing o peat wen are we goeing to record any of mi songs I MENE AS IF. Old music bussiness JOAK sa:
Q - how do you kno if there is a drumer at yor FRONT DOOR
A - the nocking get FASTER.
However in babyshables it go:
Q - how do you kno if there is a drumer at yor front door
A - slo random nocking confused SHOUTING like hav you got any gere in there? am i still in the band? perhaps some tears and finally police are called.
2) The GIUTARIST
Kepe a close EYE on the giutarist they all think they are the REEL TALLENT in the gruop and will constantly sabbotage yor carefully crafted songs with a big solo wen it is LEAST WANTED.
impresionabel young fans often think the giutarist is the one to watch so often you will hav to GET RID in a RUTHLESS FASHION i.e. just ask MORISEY.
3) The BASE PLAYER
Nobode kno wot the base player do he just stand there at the back looking MENASING and wacking people in the GOB with his base giutar if they clime onstage.
this is not to be SNIFT at. ppl are alwas climeing onstage at babyshabels show and saing for gods sake stop plaing that rubish so a firm CLONK ON THE HOOTER is invaluabel.
There are also maney other weeds wets oiks sneaks and roters to be found in the world of the ROCK GRUOP i.e. tuor mannager kebord player mixing desk man who fix all the CACKOFONY ect ect.
But by far the most important member of the tuoring entorage is the SPIRTUAL ADVISER if you gett mi meneing AND I THINK YOU DO.
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