OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES |
as all reggular reders will KNO it is a konstant uphill battel for peat to manetane some sembellence of TRUTH and DIGNETEY in the face of persistent invensions on beharf of her magesties PRESS.
simpley becos he hav a REPUTASION for saing any old rubesh for £50 pounds cash in hand no qestions arsked certane jurnelists think they can just make it up they sa o o peat hav mareyed a MONKEY o o peat hav made a recod with KRIS DEBURG o o peat hav begun injekting heron into his PEANIS o o peat hav konfessed to the GRATE TRANE ROBERY it drive one up the wall CHIZ CHIZ.
this is the burden one must BARE for being a spoakspeson for YUOTH but it get one in a mitey bate all the same it is a KONSPIRASEY this is wot wiliam blake had to put up with too you kno.
with this in MIND let us for one WEKE sift a sampel of the "news"papers output for VERASITY:
ITEM: PEAT HAV BEKOME A SIENTOLEOGIST LIKE TOM CRUSE AND DAVID BECKENHAM
THE SUN SA: peat hav met an attractiv lade in a klub she is into the looney religon and hav persuaded peat to sine UP it will get him off the DRUGGS.
THE TRUTH: that was not an E METRE it was the trustey CASH BANG WALOP machine peat got three chereys on a trebbel MULTIPLIER cheers cheers he won £7 pounds in 20p peices wich is a buger to lug all the way to HACKNEY but the broun donot pay for ITSELF.
ITEM: PEAT AND AMEY HAV BENE RITING AMASING SONGS TOGETHER IN AMEY'S HOUSE
THE NNE SA: xciting late nite "SESIONS" hav bene taking place pehaps this will be the new or lee haselwood & nancey SINARTRA suney & cher or peaters & LEA.
THE TRUTH: well there was certanly a lot of "RACKET" shal we sa also a bit of xperimental "jaming" on litel known instrements i.e. the burnt SPOONS the doubel BASE hem hem and of corse the trustey GLASS TROMBONE.
results of the sesion were refreshingley freeform relaxed UNSTRUKTURED and best of all QIET with maney a DRIBELING SOLO.
ITEM: PEAT HAV NICKED A FANS QPR SHIRT WICH RESULTED IN AN UNDIGNIFIED FIST FITE IN THE MIDDEL OF A GIG
THE DALEY STAR SA: peat hav nicked a fans qpr shirt wich resulted in an undignified fist fite in the middel of a gig
THE TRUTH: peat hav nicked a fans qpr shirt wich resulted in an undignified fist fite in the middel of a gig O WELL chiz chiz you kno the storey
ITEM: AMEY IS GOEING TO BE IN DOKTOR WHO
THE NNE SA: flame-retardent argos soul sensation AMEY WRINGHUSK hav singed on the doted line to apere in silly childrens proagram DOKTOR WHO she will wear heavy make-up in order to pla a hidous skiney MONSTER from the horibel planet FINCHLEY pehaps a krilitane a gribulite or a LOBSTEROID in a BEHIVE coo ur can you imagine it. the storey is called doktor who and the xpensive wite rocks of DOOM.
THE TRUTH: unfortunatley this turn out to be an APRIL FULE but peat was too busy "polishing the sontaran's helmet" to notise.
So as you see the "news" is full of LIES everbode should be like tom york from radio head and read GNOME CHOMPSKEY insted of the daley MIROR.
this is the burden one must BARE for being a spoakspeson for YUOTH but it get one in a mitey bate all the same it is a KONSPIRASEY this is wot wiliam blake had to put up with too you kno.
with this in MIND let us for one WEKE sift a sampel of the "news"papers output for VERASITY:
ITEM: PEAT HAV BEKOME A SIENTOLEOGIST LIKE TOM CRUSE AND DAVID BECKENHAM
THE SUN SA: peat hav met an attractiv lade in a klub she is into the looney religon and hav persuaded peat to sine UP it will get him off the DRUGGS.
THE TRUTH: that was not an E METRE it was the trustey CASH BANG WALOP machine peat got three chereys on a trebbel MULTIPLIER cheers cheers he won £7 pounds in 20p peices wich is a buger to lug all the way to HACKNEY but the broun donot pay for ITSELF.
ITEM: PEAT AND AMEY HAV BENE RITING AMASING SONGS TOGETHER IN AMEY'S HOUSE
THE NNE SA: xciting late nite "SESIONS" hav bene taking place pehaps this will be the new or lee haselwood & nancey SINARTRA suney & cher or peaters & LEA.
THE TRUTH: well there was certanly a lot of "RACKET" shal we sa also a bit of xperimental "jaming" on litel known instrements i.e. the burnt SPOONS the doubel BASE hem hem and of corse the trustey GLASS TROMBONE.
results of the sesion were refreshingley freeform relaxed UNSTRUKTURED and best of all QIET with maney a DRIBELING SOLO.
ITEM: PEAT HAV NICKED A FANS QPR SHIRT WICH RESULTED IN AN UNDIGNIFIED FIST FITE IN THE MIDDEL OF A GIG
THE DALEY STAR SA: peat hav nicked a fans qpr shirt wich resulted in an undignified fist fite in the middel of a gig
THE TRUTH: peat hav nicked a fans qpr shirt wich resulted in an undignified fist fite in the middel of a gig O WELL chiz chiz you kno the storey
ITEM: AMEY IS GOEING TO BE IN DOKTOR WHO
THE NNE SA: flame-retardent argos soul sensation AMEY WRINGHUSK hav singed on the doted line to apere in silly childrens proagram DOKTOR WHO she will wear heavy make-up in order to pla a hidous skiney MONSTER from the horibel planet FINCHLEY pehaps a krilitane a gribulite or a LOBSTEROID in a BEHIVE coo ur can you imagine it. the storey is called doktor who and the xpensive wite rocks of DOOM.
THE TRUTH: unfortunatley this turn out to be an APRIL FULE but peat was too busy "polishing the sontaran's helmet" to notise.
So as you see the "news" is full of LIES everbode should be like tom york from radio head and read GNOME CHOMPSKEY insted of the daley MIROR.
THIS WEKE: WOT THE "PAPERS" SA,
THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES,
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
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