OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES |
hello loyel reders this weke you find peat in a JOLEY MITEY BATE o wot is the reson i here you ask tell us go on go o you MITE.
is it becos CATE is mareying her dredful old age penisoner fiarncey JAMMIE MINCE from independent rock gruop the kill's no it is NOT i wish the hapey cuple all the best HEM HEM and hope cate donot bore pore jammie to deth by making him rede every inch of the "news"paper in case it sa o look cate hav a new HARCUT. i also hoape sosiety will look KINDLEY on the pore WIDDOW CATE when jammie is inevvitabley clamed by his advansing YERES ie in about 5 minuits.
ok then is it becos the other woman in yore life the delikat and gracious AMEY WINELOUSE hav developped a teribel SKIN CONDISION in no way ocasioned by DRUGGS she hav been stubing the cigs out on her CHEKE and her face now look like the GROSS AND DISGUSTING SWOLEN BUM of one of those FERESOME GRATE APES with lipstik on it perhaps a gibon chimpanzey or ORANGINATANG.
no it is NOT i fere that hence FOURTH i must leve AMEY to her own devices i hav given her all the advise i can i.e. wash the GLASS TROMBONE at least once a fortnite donot share it with TRAMMPS and remmember a LADEY always has a fresh breath mint to hand.
SO WOT IS IT THEN i here you cry for hevens sake plese cease PREVARACATENG.
hear is the NUB.
this weke peat have lerned that CHANEL 4 home of fat sod camp and how gay is yore budgie have comisioned its xciting new season of televisual delites.
among the progreams will be a new series for aklamed komedian KEVIN BISHOP no me neither aneway he hav a BRILIANT OREGENAL IDEA for an hillarious sketch wich is sure to be a new natoinal favuorite like the old ladey WEEING in litel britan and the old ladey SWERING in catherine TAIT.
it will be a spoof of tv's PRISEN BRAKE xcept staring the aformensioned AMEY and her appauling hubsband BLAKE!
as reguler reders will kno this is a DISGRASEFUL PLAGUERISM of this verey column CHIZ CHIZ wich hav related amey and blakes TRAVALES with grate sensitivitey epspecialey ther faled plot to xcape wich is universaley known as PRISON BLAAAAKE and is copyrited as such at the BRITTISH LIBARY once agane i sa CHIZ.
it is also xtremely disrespecktful to AMEY who hav born the privvations of being a PRISEN WIDOW with strength and FORTITUDE is she not fragrant acktually no she ponk a bit coo oof eurgh gosh.
to the chefe xecutive of chanel 4 MR ANDEY DUNCAN i sa that ther can onley be one REMMEDY to this outragous THEFT of intelektual PROPETY a cheqe for £50 will do the trik you can leve it blank if you want do we have a DELE? i awate yor response KEANLY.
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IT MUST BE LOVE OUT, DAMNED CLOT! NEWSMOUND IT WAS ME, MINI-ME THE RAT IS BACK |
BIG BOY VERSUS WILD CHILD MY DIGNITY'S ON THE FLOOR FIXED RATE LOHAN BALL-GAME THREES A CROWD |
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