OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES |
THIS WEKE: A MOTHERS LUV
Well gueuess WOT gentel reder it seme THE MUSE OF FATE have desided not to giv peat the runarround for once yes mi PLANS are takeing shape for a change CHEERS CHEERS.
"O o goodness me peate wot is it?" i here you sa, "do tell us o you MITE."
"hav CATE surenderd in her futile BATEL to repress yor fereless and INTERMATE TV doccumentary peat and cate: i used to do her up the TRADESMANS you kno? hav the wedes in babyshabels got the MESAGE and traded in ther royelteys in favor of the more stabel provisions of the JOBBSEKERS ALOWANCE? hav you gon on strike like robey willams the vurve liley allan pet shop boy coldpea and all the other wets at ENI records even thogh in yor particular CASE nobode hav notised?"
no it is non of the above you CLOTS. now gather and SURMISE (eng lit).
PICTUER THE SENE. i open grazia maggazene and discover NEWS on horibel dirtey graspeing roter discusting JALEBIRD and mi RIVAL in LUV the apaling BLAKE CIVIL-PROSECUTION.
he is being encoraged by his own mother to DIVVORCE truobled songbird hilda ogdan lokalike and human SKETCHBOOK for shortsited tatoo ists AMEY WHINOSE i mene how on ERTH could this hav hapend i wonder?
surely it hav nothing to do with another of peats selfless and impruving PRO BONO VISSITS to the prisoners of PENTONVILE hem hem.
yes i am afrade i must admit to a litel SUBTERFUDGE invovling a large WIG twinset pair of dolcey and gabarna SUNGLASES and driveing license with the word GEORGETTE FILLET-CIVILE riten on it in biro. one quick flash of the old NICKERS and hey ho we are in the visiting room lisening to dere litel blakey-woo winjing on about rough toilet paper cold rice puding and "BULEYING" in the showers.
"You know wot YOU want to do mi litel poppet" i sa in mi best hi-pitched mum voice it is a cross between YOUTHA JOYCE from geoge and mildred and home secretary JACKEY SMITH.
"Get rid of that pasty old TWIGLET AMEY she hav rubish tatoos terible pesonal HIGENE poo ur gosh also she is MENTEL her hair hav TOXIC SHOCK SINDROME and she is a bad INFLUENSE on you mi darling!" at this i do abit of boohooing they all fall for it. Blake swalow it hole THE FULE mind you he is so off his shed on PRISEN DRUGGS that he would think a MOPP with lipstick on it is his darling MATER.
teres streme down blakes stupid skiney face and he sa o yes mother i see the TRUOUTH now she onley want me for my money all 25p of it and of corse mi provision of SUNDERIES i shal DEVORCE her forthwith YOU ar the onley one who cares for me.
Mision acomplished i think as i shufel towards the exit weping. OR IS IT.....?
no it is non of the above you CLOTS. now gather and SURMISE (eng lit).
PICTUER THE SENE. i open grazia maggazene and discover NEWS on horibel dirtey graspeing roter discusting JALEBIRD and mi RIVAL in LUV the apaling BLAKE CIVIL-PROSECUTION.
he is being encoraged by his own mother to DIVVORCE truobled songbird hilda ogdan lokalike and human SKETCHBOOK for shortsited tatoo ists AMEY WHINOSE i mene how on ERTH could this hav hapend i wonder?
surely it hav nothing to do with another of peats selfless and impruving PRO BONO VISSITS to the prisoners of PENTONVILE hem hem.
yes i am afrade i must admit to a litel SUBTERFUDGE invovling a large WIG twinset pair of dolcey and gabarna SUNGLASES and driveing license with the word GEORGETTE FILLET-CIVILE riten on it in biro. one quick flash of the old NICKERS and hey ho we are in the visiting room lisening to dere litel blakey-woo winjing on about rough toilet paper cold rice puding and "BULEYING" in the showers.
"You know wot YOU want to do mi litel poppet" i sa in mi best hi-pitched mum voice it is a cross between YOUTHA JOYCE from geoge and mildred and home secretary JACKEY SMITH.
"Get rid of that pasty old TWIGLET AMEY she hav rubish tatoos terible pesonal HIGENE poo ur gosh also she is MENTEL her hair hav TOXIC SHOCK SINDROME and she is a bad INFLUENSE on you mi darling!" at this i do abit of boohooing they all fall for it. Blake swalow it hole THE FULE mind you he is so off his shed on PRISEN DRUGGS that he would think a MOPP with lipstick on it is his darling MATER.
teres streme down blakes stupid skiney face and he sa o yes mother i see the TRUOUTH now she onley want me for my money all 25p of it and of corse mi provision of SUNDERIES i shal DEVORCE her forthwith YOU ar the onley one who cares for me.
Mision acomplished i think as i shufel towards the exit weping. OR IS IT.....?
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