OR THE SECRET DIARY OF A TWAT
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
OR THE SECRET DIARY OF A TWAT |
helo reders i tel you WOT you are joley lucky to get a collum at all this weke for peat hav bene out CARROUSING to the brake of DAWN at the NNE AWARDS cheers cheers cheers no aktualey not cheers at all it is a FRITEFUL BOAR.
NNE awards is the anual selebrasion of all that is GRATE in indy rock all the gruoups turn out in silly cloths try to get off with ALEXIS CHANG or the gurl from REVVEREND AND THE MUCOUS then get photograped pulling stupid FACES and pretend to be faling over on DRUGGS for the "news" pages it reprasent the CUTING EDGE of yuothful creativite you kno.
reders all vote to deside who is the BEST cheers cheers this is british demoracracy in AKTION and wot a suprise everbode who turn up get a award hmmm funey that. this is why the list of winers span the FULL RAINGE of musikal xelence from the CLACTONS to the ENEMEY to the WOMB HATS as you see all human life is here truely we are living in a golden AGE.
MODESTE forbidds yor corespondant peat from mentsioning that he hav walked away with HEROE OF THE YERE this was qite nice considdering he hav done apsoluetly 0 all yere apart from supervise the relese of a babyshabels abum get bined off by CATE and do abit of rehabb but you canot argue with the PPL they are always rite as any fule kno.
it was also v gracius of NNE to giv a award to the MANCHESTER STRETE PRECHERS they are not as yuong as they wer and such rekognision must be verey COMFORTING to men in there twilite years. they take the staige and pple chere hooray go on well done FOGEY COMPO AND CLEGG you are GENNERATION PENSIONERS yor man on the spott peat was qite touched aktually.
however it was rather CHEPE i fele to name embateld singeing sensasion AMEY WOUNDARSE the worst dresd peson of the yere i mene have you sene NNE editor CONER MCNICKLEBACK on the televition he look like RODNY from only fules and HOARSES after a makover by GOCK WAN and is no oil painting let me ASURE you.
at the aftersho partey i atempt to UPBRADE him for this ungenetlmanley behavour but he is locked awa in the VVVVVVVVVIP with the event sponsors hed and SHOLDERS shampue melton mowbray pork pies and ZENNITH RAYTHEON DEFENSE SISTEMS.
but you donot want to here about that you want to kno about the GLAMUR the GOSIP and abov all wot do you get in the GOODEY BAGS?
GLAMUR: i saw terible rinkly radoio dj JOE WIPELY trying to get in on the photoes of pop singer CATE GNASHER it was a grisely site like a TERODACTIL eating a babey hippo and a warning to all young pop tallents i hoape.
GOSIP: lesbrarian bundel of fun BETH DITO hav bene sick in a pot plant neil FIELDING of the mitey BOSH look like a uter wede in his siley cloths and litespeed CHAMPIEN canot play for toofe that is all i notised befor goeing to slepe under the tabel.
GOODEY BAGS: put it this way i signged it and swopt the contents for a litel something to get me through the TIRESOME HOURS of the ceremone well wot do you think i am a CHARITEA?
reders all vote to deside who is the BEST cheers cheers this is british demoracracy in AKTION and wot a suprise everbode who turn up get a award hmmm funey that. this is why the list of winers span the FULL RAINGE of musikal xelence from the CLACTONS to the ENEMEY to the WOMB HATS as you see all human life is here truely we are living in a golden AGE.
MODESTE forbidds yor corespondant peat from mentsioning that he hav walked away with HEROE OF THE YERE this was qite nice considdering he hav done apsoluetly 0 all yere apart from supervise the relese of a babyshabels abum get bined off by CATE and do abit of rehabb but you canot argue with the PPL they are always rite as any fule kno.
it was also v gracius of NNE to giv a award to the MANCHESTER STRETE PRECHERS they are not as yuong as they wer and such rekognision must be verey COMFORTING to men in there twilite years. they take the staige and pple chere hooray go on well done FOGEY COMPO AND CLEGG you are GENNERATION PENSIONERS yor man on the spott peat was qite touched aktually.
however it was rather CHEPE i fele to name embateld singeing sensasion AMEY WOUNDARSE the worst dresd peson of the yere i mene have you sene NNE editor CONER MCNICKLEBACK on the televition he look like RODNY from only fules and HOARSES after a makover by GOCK WAN and is no oil painting let me ASURE you.
at the aftersho partey i atempt to UPBRADE him for this ungenetlmanley behavour but he is locked awa in the VVVVVVVVVIP with the event sponsors hed and SHOLDERS shampue melton mowbray pork pies and ZENNITH RAYTHEON DEFENSE SISTEMS.
but you donot want to here about that you want to kno about the GLAMUR the GOSIP and abov all wot do you get in the GOODEY BAGS?
GLAMUR: i saw terible rinkly radoio dj JOE WIPELY trying to get in on the photoes of pop singer CATE GNASHER it was a grisely site like a TERODACTIL eating a babey hippo and a warning to all young pop tallents i hoape.
GOSIP: lesbrarian bundel of fun BETH DITO hav bene sick in a pot plant neil FIELDING of the mitey BOSH look like a uter wede in his siley cloths and litespeed CHAMPIEN canot play for toofe that is all i notised befor goeing to slepe under the tabel.
GOODEY BAGS: put it this way i signged it and swopt the contents for a litel something to get me through the TIRESOME HOURS of the ceremone well wot do you think i am a CHARITEA?
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IT'S THE EBAY-CKHAMS MUMMY'S BOY EN-CYRUS-PAEDIA SHIT-TANICA NEWSMOUND FIGHTING TALK |
BEYOND THE PALIN DESPERATE DENIALS PUSH THE MUTE BUTTON SLIPPERY IN DEBT OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP |
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