The Moly asks, and you, good Moles, answer. Yes, evil
Apprentice Katie Hopkins was given her marching orders from '
I'm A Celebrity' last night, after thousands of you voted the horse-toothed homewrecker back into the obscurity from whence she came.
Not before she'd slagged off
meep-meep-mental PR behemoth Lynne though, for being lazy and "at the other
extreme of the female marketplace". Hopkins
then whinnied self-importantly: "She's very female, and I'm more the male
end of female."
That's putting it mildly. Having seen her Madonna-like leathery six-pack last
night, we think Hoppo has more testosterone flowing through her stone-cold
circuitry than a Ukrainian shot-putter.
Sly Katie made out she was relieved to be going, but the ruthless harpy was seen
snivelling onto the shoulder of professional homosexual Biggins at the ignominy
of losing yet another TV reality show against a bunch of no-marks. Talking of which, after throwing herself at taken man and failed actor Marc
every day since she'd been in the jungle, lantern-jawed caterwauler Cerys had
already had plenty of practice for her reverse-bungee jumping Bush Tucker
challenge last night.
Coupled with vacuous former 'Hollyoaks' thingy Gemma Atkinson, who's as dense as
Jupiter's atmosphere, the pair had to fling paintbombs at a target as they were
chucked violently into the air at 50mph - approximately what's going to happen
to Marc when girlfriend Sarah gets her hands on him. Meanwhile, jungle evictee Marc admitted that he was "in love with two
people", and surprisingly, one of them wasn't himself. His
self-flagellating on-screen apology to his cuckolded Z-list missus however was
about as believable as tartan paint.
However, we thoroughly enjoyed Michelin-starred maniac John Burton Race almost
having an aneurysm when Biggins and Gemma said they didn't want to eat his
dinner of rabbit. Just one more moan from his fellow 'celebs' and we fear he's
gonna blow, like that dude in Scanners. Here's hoping.
But despite it being on the whole a cracking 90 minutes of camp action, mouldy
soccer misogynist Rodney, Spanner Ryder-Richardson and 'Eh?' from Five are
still managing to keep the home fires boring. Thankfully, our favourite over-the-top Botoxed bonker Janice is still there and
getting ready to rhumble. Oh maaaan! Oh maaaaan! Oh maaaan! Roll on tonight.
