DAY 2: I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE

Detested harridan Apprentice star, Katie Hopkins entered the camp full of beans, making her half a cup of rice behind her campmates.

She has clearly thought this through as she cannot fail to look like a measured and generous spirited angel next to Janice. Katie helped Gemma carry her enormous chest back into camp much to the delight of everyone before they got the question wrong, but help was at hand when 'J' from 5ive broke it open and gave everyone illegal chocolate.

Well done J, what with that and the constant shouting of "big monkey bollocks" you are certainly turning out to be a cracking bit of telly.

Also yesterday, the watching public decided that it wasn't fair that Rodney Marsh had got out of the helicopter bungee jump, so voted him onto the Bushtucker Trial against Janice.

Rodney's stars seemed to be welded onto the floor of the submerging Range Rover, whereas Janice's seemed to be blu-tacked down, so she won the trial and fed her camp.

The British viewing public had not stood up and shouted "drown Janice, drown!" since the Battersbys from Corrie fell in the canal.

Winning the trial sadly didn't stop another row between Janice and 'PR guru' Lynn Franks about collecting wood. We are hoping that Lynn is going to record her memoirs of her time in the camp and bring it out in diary form in time for Christmas; 'The Diary of Lynn Franks' has a certain ring to it don't you think?

And what is it with Buddhists? Why are they so nasty and argumentative? IACGMOOH factoid: Lynn's son, Josh Howie is the most unfunny comedian of all time, look!

http://www.myspace.com/joshhowie