WE STARTED OFF NAKED

Is it possible? Could our heroine Lisa been even more gorgeous in the past than she is today? The Amazonian beauty, famed for her tattooed eyeliner, told a dumbfounded Belinda that, when younger, she "overdid the eyebrows, always wore false eyelashes and red or green luminous lipstick. I've toned it down. I feel more classy." She recounted all this while decked out in a canary yellow Lycra mini skirt.

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Don't give her grief! Her stunning looks are a natural process of evolution. She has her own take on Darwin's crazy theories. "We started off naked, were we meant to wear clothes or were we meant to rough it up and get warm like animals do and nest? And why did we start cutting our hair and nails? We've polished things up. But you have to start at the bottom. I think it comes from your ancestors."

Lisa to win! Boring Rachel got the arse when Lisa said people who "sit on the fence" shouldn't be in the house. After moaning to Big Brother the Welsh pipsqueak approached Lisa to "sort it out". Boring Rachel addressed Amazing Lisa by kneeling in supplication in front of her. That's right, Boring Rachel! Give Lisa the respect she is due! After waffling on for minutes nothing was resolved. Lisa's face remained impassive. As per usual. It's not easy to express yourself in permanent make-up, presumably.

Leaving it to Boob Woman Becs and Duck Boy Luke to provide the 'storyline'. Yes they've snogged. Zzzz. They've feigned embarrassment and say they won't do it again, even though they keep sleeping in the same bed. It's all tactics. Becs enquired as to whether merely sleeping next to her gave Luke a hard on then rummaged around to check. It was like watching a hippopotamus sit on Tweety Pie!