RESPECT MY KNICKERS!

More happened in Sunday's action-packed highlights show than in a fortnight of Big Brother 8 and Sylvia's knickers were the centre of attention. Cross-dressing blind stand-up comedian Mikey thought they'd make the perfect addition to his Bunny Girl outfit and popped them on in the bath. Little did he suspect the trauma they'd unleash.

"I'm so pissed off" raged Sylvia. "That's taking the piss. Don't put my knickers on. Females live in this house. This is not a joke. That is disrespectful!" She was ably assisted by Alex who expertly made a national hate figure of herself in forty seconds, ranting at Michael that she won't "tip toe around him" and that he's "got no respect for himself" culminating in a frenzy of "fucking" and "shitting." Calm down! Her unusual gameplan is to be a one-woman Charley BB8 tribute act, only a more aggressive version without the charm.

Meanwhile trainee PE teacher Dale used the Bunny outfit, provided as part of Mario's fake stag night, as an opportunity for showing off his six pack. Again. A summer-long residency as Heat's Torso Of The Week seems a safe bet. A handy addition to any PE teaching CV, obviously.

Sticking a comedy foreigner in there was a bit of an obvious move and we didn't expect much of cookie-chomping comedy Thai masseuse Kat. She provides welcome relief from the endless fake marriage task and Knickergate wrangling though. "My happiest moment was seeing Mario propose to Stephanie" she chirped amiably, before digressing into new English words she's picked up. "Today I learned 'dignity' – means people respect themselves. I feel everyone should have that. Yes. I also learned another new word. Crotch – it means boy sausage, I learnt that from Mario."

She'll have 25 variations of 'vagina' before she's out of that place.


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