DAY 24: JUNE 23RD

Haha - new-rave Mick Hucknall-alike Seany has got the boot! Quite right, you can't just indiscriminately put condoms on teddy bears and throw Gucci boots in swimming pools without reaping the whirlwind. Weep those bitter tears Seany you sunburnt twat.

The icing on the cake of this well-deserved encounter with national scorn was Seany's look of complete shock when he heard the news. The raving jester clearly thought Carole would up for the chop. Ho ho. The eviction wasn't a patch on Shabnam's doolally meltdown, instead Davina spent 10 minutes kissing his bum and told viewers - should they chance upon this curly-bonced arsehole in the street - to give him some 'Seany love'. A more fitting response would be to steal his hat, throw a bucket of water over him and kick him in the nuts, shouting 'It's just a prank! What's the matter with you! Can't you take a joke?"

There was still no sign of Liam's fantastic gold shorts. Get them back on screen pronto Channel 4 or our interest in this show is going to hurtle down the plug hole along with the rest of the ratings. Ziggy's water bottle to win!