DAY 7: June 6th

Whoo! It was "all" happening last night. The highlights show featured Dr Chanelle's Casebook. We learned putting toilet paper on a table may lead to it contracting impetigo. Using said bog roll could then cause an outbreak of 'genital herpes'. Come off it Chanelle, as if you're not riddled with it already. Shagging on the top deck of a bus probably isn't the height of hygiene. Meanwhile Lesley mused that Madonna didn't get where she is today by not going to meetings about doing the housework. We suspect Lesley is off her masher.

Mannii Minogue hit the diary room with the most gloriously bullshit-strewn monologue we've seen since last years competition. 'I don't care if I'm famous for two minutes or two years" deluded the toothy Robbie Williams stalker. 'If I leave now though will I still get deals? I've been very entertaining in here'. The daft tart would hang herself had she known she's only been in about 2.5 minutes of the highlight shows so far.

The grand finale featured Peaches Geldoff rowing with Chanelle over a pair of hair straighteners. 'She was waving that banana around like it was the only banana in the world' raged Chanelle in the simmering aftermath of the pout-off. Undettered Peaches Geldoff called Chanelle a slag for letting Ziggy sleep in her bed - a row which continued on the live E4 feed. Marvellous! Fight, fight, fight! With everyone chipping in as to where sleeping in the same bed as a man fits in on the league table of sluttery ex Rentboy Hotline singer Ziggy wound himself up into a right old tizz. 'You're all slags' he announced. Quite right. Have a round of applause. We didn't rate Zig's chances before but now he's one of our favourites. Here's hoping he pulls their hair and calls them all cows tomorrow.