Full marks to snarling ex lapdancer Charley who channelled her inner Naomi Campbell during a mental breakdown about 'fat fucks' nicking her pasta. Three days in and we've had the first proper row. We've got another 13 weeks of bitching about people pissing in the pool, farting in the bedroom and wiping bogies on the sofas to look forward to. Hooray!
Last year producers got a job lot of contestants from the ladies loo in Chinawhite, this year they've looked further afield and recruited the doorman from Pangea. Yes, not only was Ziggy a doorman but he's had it away with a galaxy of d-listers including Suzanne Shaw, Abi Titmuss and the brunette bootface out of Atomic Kitten. See the patter that parted Abi from her knickers on tomorrow's highlight show as Captain Ponce has a series of one-on-one dinner dates with the 'lucky' female housemates. Presumably flagons of cheap champagne and a nose bag full of coke aren't on the menu. Will he overcome those hurdles?! The nation is on the edge of its seats! Zzzz.
