Day 18: June 17th

Saturday night and the only Big Brother fix avaialble is the Diary Room Uncut show. Even so it doesn't stop us being subjected virtually none-stop to unemployed lapdancer Charley and her wig so rough it makes Amy Winehouse's cranial growth look like the Timotei girl's flowing tresses.

It's a change of tack for Charley though. While begging Big Brother for cigarettes she doesn't employ her usual tactics or screaming like a fishwife, screeching she 'ain't bovvered' or accusing everyone of being a fake. She meets with as much success as normal though and ends up puffing on some basil in a rizla with ravey Worzel Tracey.

Yeuch.

Meanwhile Carole bursts into tears over a strawberry and arch-twat Seany tries his hand at being 'wacky' by asking Big Brother for a hovercraft and lake. Ha! Zzzz.

It's the calm before the storm though viewers. 15 housemates in the compound is going to make tonight's highlights show feel like watching CCTV footage of an overcrowded mental ward. Hooray!