Day 11: June 10th

Due to George Michael crooning on a football pitch last night there was no highlight show, leaving us with the crap 'Diary Room Uncut' to contend with. Disappointingly, the 'highlights' involved Ziggy simpering about how much pink there was in the house and Emily getting kicked out in the dead of night with no knickers on.

Meanwhile the live coverage on E4 has shown Dead Cert Winner Gerry trying to explain George Orwell's 1984 to the housemates. 'Stalin, who was a horrible, horrible person…' he begins before the sound dip. Is Stalin going to sue you Channel 4? Calm down! Gerry's also revealed he read 24 books while waiting to come into the house and managed to work the words 'generic' and 'externalise' into the same sentence first thing on Sunday morning. Compared to previous series this will be like watching Open University. Who knew Endemol could have had such a devilish trick up their sleeves?

In other Gerry news a quick Google around reveals the chipmunk-cheeked sex god is mates with Jon out of S Club 7! Gerry even calls him 'Prince' on his marathon sponsorship form. He only gave him a tenner though so either they're not particularly close or Jon's a crap shag.

In smut news a rugby player tells the News of the World that all it takes to get Chanelle's pants off is a pub lunch at a Tobey Carvery. She's a sneaky Germaine Greer if you ask us. She said "dramatic irony" in a chat with Gerry last night. Yowzers!