Day 10: June 9th

Day 10 and the winner finally walks into the Big Brother house.

There is no way that Greek bisexual brainbox Gerry won't make it to the final. Look at his cute wee face! That cheeky grin! Those three degrees and comedy accent! Every housewife on the internet has already raved about him so he's where the smart money should be going. He even kicked off a chat about Chanelle losing her "anal virginity" in his first ten minutes and no one cared.

The only way he can screw this up is by leading the house in a karaoke rendition of Ol' Dirty Bastard's 'Nigga Please'.

Compare and contrast that to the other new arrival, Seany. He's a weirdo.

He loves Michael Jackson and looks like Mick Hucknall – which should be a sectionable offence in any Health Authority's book. He even went to Jacko's trial waving a flag with ' Ireland believes in you Michael' scrawled over it.

He also says he can have sex with any bloke he wants – as long as they aren't camp and he meets them at a tube station. Ye gods. What next? Are producers going to get that scary granny with the doves in for week six? Seany's even more mental than our current favourite nutbag, Shabnam.

The Dannii Minogue drag act mildly amused us for nanoseconds with her bizarre outburst: "Tadpoles! That's the word I'd forgotten!"

Tune in tonight to see Lesley pack her bags and get on her broomstick. Seeya!