Day 26: June 25th

Just when Big Brother On The Couch couldn't get any worse it looks like they've gone and booked gay Billy Bunter Johan Harri as a regular 'commentator'. Quite why they've stuck this bloated hack on the 'panel' is beyond us as he drags the already cringe-inducing nightmare of a schedule-filler even further into the depths of amateurish crap. Look at the fat man wave his arms around and interrupt the psychologist! Shut it Roland! No one asked you about your specialist subject, how to stuff 25 eclairs down your gullet without chewing.

The highlights show kicked off with the kind of high falutin' chat we've come to expect - a ruck between Chanelle and Ziggy about Chanelle squeezing Billi's blackheads. 'I'm disgusted, you touch me with those fingers' huffed Ziggy. 'I've got an eye for blackheads' enthused talented unemployed stripper Charley. She went on to further prove her diplomatic skills when ravey twat Seany got the boot. 'Let's not get his hopes up. There is no other house, he's going home' she announced. Hooray!

Ever since Welsh hair dresser Helen flapped her pie hole about her love of blinking in series 2 Big Brother has been awash with housemates playing the 'blithering idiot' card. Has Brian gone too far with his routine about Shakespeare though? 'So this Shakespeare geezer wrote a play called Romeo and Juliet? How come everyone knows about this geezer. I didn't pay much attention at school' he dribbled. Hmmm. Now, he may be from Basildon and 'work in IT' but is this schtick too thick to be true? Stay tuned! (Or not...we've still got three months...)