SWING DEPENDENCE DAY

That nice Will Smith seems to be a very reasonable man, and not at all a puppet in the control of the sinister Scientology 'religion'. He and his wife appear to have an incredibly open relationship, and Wicky-Wa-Wa Will says he's absolutely fine about his wife sleeping with someone else, as long as he knows about the penetration in advance.

How very romantic. So basically it's a licence for Jada Pinkett Smith to do what she likes and with whom she wants. Like she hasn't already. So how would Will feel if he arrived home after a hard day of acting and found his wife bumping nasties with someone else?

"I don't know how I'd feel," he told Reveal magazine.

Fair enough, Will, but how would you react if you walked into the bedroom to find your wife being played like a cello by someone else? Like this hasn't happened already?

"I know I would react better than if I found out about it afterwards."

How refined. Most people would go mad with jealousy and rage at the sight of their partner having paradiddles played over their intimate parts by a stranger, whatever the sex. But not Will, who appears to be insisting that this situation hasn't happened already.

"Our perspective is, you don't avoid what's natural and you're going to be attracted to people. So sometimes we have the discussion: 'Wow, this or that girl is freaking gorgeous.' I'm not going to say anything to my buddies that's any different than what I say to my wife."

So it's basically a licence for Jada to do what she likes with any woman she wants. Like she hasn't already.