NEWSMOUND

Nice Guy D-Eddie - Sean Penn is still in touch with his dead brother Chris. FemaleFirst

Get your bids in for a rubbish oil painting of Bono. BBC

Rapper The Game back in court, this time for taking a gun to school. Do not play basketball against this man. YahooNews

Kanye West is a modest and self-effacing drunk. Only drunk on success, of course. And the number one human in music, apparently. WWTDD

Tom Cruise is building a bunker to protect himself when a wrathful Xenu returns to Earth. Cuckoo! Dlisted

Thunderbirds are ho! Posh takes ridiculous dress to new heights. Splash

Courtney Love needs to shovel that boob back in before it catches cold. Celebslam

Peter Andre is tempted to punch Jordan. No comment. ICYDK

David Beckham manages to shake of that 'injury' for a few seconds. ASL

Surprisingly, fat nasal Sonia from Eastenders is the latest tottering skeleton lollipop-head. Heatworld