LAWFUL WEDDED WESTLIFE

Wayne Rooney has managed to persuade Westlife (with wads of cash and lots of shouting and swearing probably) to perform at his wedding to Coleen McLoughlin. Westlife are apparently Coleen's favourite band (well they are now) and she was very upset when they couldn't make it to her 21st Birthday. Yes, when she was an adult and turned 21. As if this shit shower of a wedding could have got any worse...

The pair are getting married on June 14 at La Cervara, Italy and are rumoured to be spending £3m on the celebrations (courtesy of OK!), so they should have a spare £2.50 to throw in Westlife's direction.

And Wayne has gone to a lot of trouble booking the band despite having the piss taken out of him for it by all his teammates.

A source said: "Some of Wayne’s teammates gave him a bit of stick but he knows how much Coleen loves them."

If we needed any more evidence that Coleen is a bona fide cretin then this is surely it. We'd say that having Westlife at a wedding would ruin things, but having Wayne and Coleen there is going to do the job pretty well regardless of who plays.