Victoria Beckham's back in the recording studio for a new Spice Girls album

Stop Right Now

Published on Mon 11 June 2007 by IanMcShane

Victoria Beckham's back in the recording studio for a new Spice Girls album

So approaches the end of days, as detailed by St John the Divine in the Book Of Revelation (and it's not the 'Book Of Revelations', Doherty, you faux-intellectual twat). We already have the Whore Of Basildon attempting to seduce the US (along with her dim-witted Greek husband) and now comes the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse, Victoria Beckham, who has dragged her lungs back into the recording studio for one last blast on Satan's trumpet.

Fuck.

The Spice Girls are back, with an album pencilled in for Christmas this year, which is sure to fuck up quite a people's lives when the wrapping paper comes off the CD-shaped presents. Posh ambled into Olympic Studios in London and grunted onto a few tracks which are sure to be so far down in the mix that only pigs with supernatural hearing will ever have to encounter the noise.

"The mike was put in front of me, and I was like 'woah!'" she squealed, presumably because she certainly never got near a fucking microphone in her previous Spice career.

Let's hope she hasn't lost the knack of standing knock-kneed and flashing a 'V for Victory' sign whilst looking moody and porcine.

Victoria Beckham, Spice Girls, reunion, new album, holy moly, celebrity news, gossip

pass it on print article

SLIPPERY IN DEBT
OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
FAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT
NEWSMOUND
LISTEN TO WHAT THE MAN SAID

OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
COMING CLEAN
JENNY GETS ANOTHER ROCK
I KNOW WHO MIGHT KILL ME
NOT A SHARP MOVE

COMMENTS

		DeirdreChambers on Mon 11 June 2007 said... "Let's hope she hasn't lost the knack of standing knock-kneed and flashing a 'V for Victory' sign whilst looking moody and porcine." that sirs is a gift from God, and the one talent she will always have.
		JiggeryCock on Mon 11 June 2007 said... "The mike was put in front of me, and I was like 'woah!'", which seems like a fair start. A few 'baby baby's, and some warbled falsetto squeals and there's your standard r 'n b track
		ArnoldMontgomeryCunt on Mon 11 June 2007 said... Sweet Christ...someone destroy the tapes before this ever sees the light of day???!
		Vileman on Mon 11 June 2007 said... I love the fact that she seems to have Leonard Nimoy in tow. I must say I thought the 1967 release 'Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr. Spock's Music From Outer Space' was far better than anything the spice pigs ever issued.
		JiggeryCock on Mon 11 June 2007 said... Nah, that's the original 'what the fuck do they do in a band', Bez, with a beard and suit.
		IrishC on Mon 11 June 2007 said... Doesn't anyone think that guy is a clone of the dude who plays Lionel Luther in Smallville? (Google says his name is John Glover). Its kinda spooky infact.
		Mungo Shuntbox on Mon 11 June 2007 said... "The mike was put in front of me, and I was like 'woah!'" Ah yes, tremendous insight into your day, such a detailed and graphic description, almost felt as if I'd been there myself. Has she ever spoken a sentence with polysyllabic words and proper grammar in her life? Trollop.
		JoMama on Mon 11 June 2007 said... Scrawny cunt. Still, I'd take a big long hard fucking run at her. Not as much as I would Mel B or the blonde one. Sexy cunts. And why is 'whoa' always spelt 'whoa'? I've never heard anyone pronounce it like that. Soppy cunts.
		anneka on Mon 11 June 2007 said... yeah she was the worst singer of the lot. which is saying something
		Venoose on Mon 11 June 2007 said... "The mike was put in front of me, and I was like 'woah!'" I bet even that was out of tune.
		Sundaeg1rl on Mon 11 June 2007 said... "The mike was put in front of me, and I was like 'woah!' This thing makes me look fat! Get it away from me!"
		on Mon 11 June 2007 said... yeah, definitely throw a fuck up her.................desperately hunts for medication
		grippersteb on Tue 12 June 2007 said... mouth chin combo remind me of eubank. acne scarred craterous cheeks... general noriega. squishy squashy nose...la la. Personality.... of a spoilt, despotic, pschyo CUNT. Apart from that Im sure her arse looks ok........ from a distance
		papers on Thu 14 June 2007 said... what did she have a boob job for?. it's clear that the only part of her anatomy that needs remodelling is her piggy little nose.