MOBY WANTS TO SPEAR BRITNEY

Never one to shy away from eccentric behaviour, Moby has been telling anyone who'll listen about his love for troubled Britney Spears... and maybe it's the shock she needs to help her start her recovery.

Moby said:

"Britney is like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat!"

Now far be it from us to make any jokes about Britney ballooning in weight to whale-size (a la Moby Dick) but let's not underestimate the little vegan.

Lest we forget, he used to go out with Natalie Portman so a chunky but funky Britney might not be too much of a challenge. And think of the droning techno they could make together.