UK HALL OF LAME

Things wot we learned from last night's UK Hall Of Fame:

1. Towers of London stood in the aisles making "sucking cock" gestures at Joss Stone as she danced in the audience during her empty, droid-version of "Son Of A Preacher Man. And the person that decided Dross doing Dusty Springfield with Corrine Bailey-Bray doing scatty vapid soul shit on backing vocals was a good thing for music needs David Gest fingering his arsehole to sleep every night till they die a slow death due to lack of eroticism.
   
2. Joss has also given herself the worst make-over in pop HISTORY - dyed purple-red hair and a torquoise chiffon baby-doll dress and heels. It looked like something Michelle Bass would wear (briefly).
3. Bruce Springsteen turned down his award when he heard Bon Jovi were getting one on the same night.
4. Rod Stewart dropped his award and said "Fuck"
5. Patti Labelle flashed her knickers climbing up the stairs in a ludicrously long dress.
6. Johnny Borrell was wearing what appeared to be thermal underwear and looked like a mime artist.

And that is that. What Holy Moly REALLY wants to know is how much Johnny Barrel is seething inside, knowing that for all his pose and poetic nonsense, the drummer wrote America, by far their biggest hit.

It's these thoughts that drag my sorry arse out of bed every morning.

Of course when I say out of bed I mean screaming at the wife to bring me my laptop along with some milkshake, 3 bags of Doritos and a bedpan to see me through the day.