LIGHT ON HIS FEET

As you may have read yesterday, John Travolta is preparing to roll back the years at this Sunday's Academy Awards by performing a lovely little dance for as he presents the OscarBest Original Song. Well, it's the only way he's going to get near one of those awards, isn't it?

Some singer called John McLaughlin will belt out a power ballad from the movie 'Enchanted' which will be Travolta's cue to grab a dancer (the sex yet to be specified) and waltz around the stage like a big ninny while a troupe of dancers watch his every move and make bitchy comments about his ability behind his back.

Travolta's publicist admits he has no idea what John is going to do this weekend, but that's about par for the course. Tricky to second-guess, these Scientologists. You might be expecting a polite conversation from one then be subject to a two-hour lecture on the evil of psychiatry.

Sounds like a smashing, teeth-gritting shitfest, but hopefully Travolta's flashing feet will draw attention away from his sprayed on brillo hair.