HAIL TO THE TEETH

Teeeny tiny Tom Cruise is planning his next disastrous movie role and fancies playing the President of the USA of Earth, in the movie '28th Amendment'. Maybe he's blurring art and reality but someone should point out to him that pretending to be the President doesn't mean that they'll let you play on that UFO in Roswell.

Comingsoon.net can barely disguise its sniggers as the writers recount how Tom's latest film may be out towards the end of next year, which is probably sooner than his dead-in-the-water 'Good-Nazi' thriller 'Valkyrie', whose release has been put back so many times now that it's nearly as old as WWII itself.

So it'll have to have a cast-iron plot if Tom isn't to wave his usual shit wand over the proceedings and turn it into another stinker like an anti-Midas. Well, it will feature Tom as President Ben Cahill, who discovers that the country is actually being run by a secretive organisation that assassinates those who don't agree with its ideals and will go to any lengths to protect its interests, wipe out any opposition and hang onto power.

How will the High Priest of Scientology possibly go about researching this role?