WORLD WIDE WEIRDO

To celebrate 25 years as a successful artist (well, he nearly made it, just falling at the last hurdle) Tom Cruise has finally launched his own official website and guess what? There's no mention of a certain religion that he's rather involved with.

Well I assume there isn't any mention of Scientology. I spent a good hour on the site and woke up naked with my bank account emptied. These guys are good! Therefore, click on the site at your own risk.

Now at last we get a personal message from Tom, and it shows that he's still not afraid to take risks, to put himself on the line in search of the truth and to bare his soul. Here's the truth. Can you handle the truth?

"I love movies. I love making them. I love watching them. I enjoy settling down in my seat in a theatre, my popcorn and soda in hand."

Phew. Apart from the one mistake (you watch films in a cinema and plays in a theatre, Tom) it's pretty powerful stuff. In fact I'd go as far as to say it's what the internet was invented for. I recommend that you visit the site now. No, I demand it, or you will be crushed like ants underneath the mighty heel of the Church, for you are... I'm off for a lie down to snooze out some negative engrams.