HAG VERSUS HAGRID

Tilda Swinton has put her foot down and demanded that the world know that she would not accept a role in any upcoming Harry Potter film. Not that she has ever been asked, you see, she's just making sure we all know, in case someone was thinking of pleading with her to show up and don the robes. In the same vein, I have decided to rule myself out of any future England football internationals, because I'm just not interested.

Tilda was speaking to a terrified writer from Out magazine who was forced to sit across the table from her as she did that odd 'bird of prey studying its next meal' glare.

No, she declared, she would not take part in one of the biggest-grossing children's film series of all time (having totally fucked over the Narnia series as any competition, eh Tilda?), because of the way in which they glamorise boarding schools.

"I'm loath to say anything good about going to boarding school, which is one of the reasons why I'm not a believer in Harry Potter. Because I believe it fetishizes boarding school for children."

My thoughts exactly when I saw Daniel Radcliffe's excited face enter Hogwarts for the first time. Fetish. And are these films really making boarding schools out to be glamorous places? About a third of the upper sixth have been killed throughout the series, for God's sake.

Maybe Tilda has her own boarding school experiences that she'd sooner forget? It's not like a woman so beautiful, witty and friendly would ever get picked on, is it?