NO SURPRISES AND NO THANKS

Paul McCartney, no stranger to public humiliations after marrying one, has revealed that he was snubbed by frozen faced Radiohead singer Thom Yorke when he requested that the pair perform a duet together.

Revelling in his role as an utter laughing stock (which has been the case since the Frog Chorus, to be fair), McCartney told T4 the full details, as though they were some type of priest listening to his confession and offering absolution.

"My daughter was putting an album together and she put us in touch. I asked Thom to do a duet, but he said he couldn't because he only felt happy working on his own and Radiohead's material."

That's Thom Yorke who did a duet with PJ Harvey in 2000, I believe.

Thom and Sir Macca Thumsaloft on the same stage would never work anyway. Imagine McCartney crooning with those eyebrows going mental and jumping around like fleas while the poor skinny fucker beside him can barely even move his eyelid.