JUST CALL HER 'DANGLE'

Various people in the US are getting themselves worked up into a state over the name of Halle Berry's baby daughter, born on Sunday morning. Halle, daughter and father of the child, Gabriel Aubry, remained cocooned in their private birthing suite in the Cedars-Sinai medical centre in LA, refusing to poke their heads out of the door in case a passing photographer takes a picture of their child and ruins the lucrative glossy mag spread.

PageSix.com just went out on a limb and thought up the most ridiculous name they could imagine. It's a no-lose situation – if wrong then no-one remembers but bearing in mind the ridiculous names foisted on Hollywood offspring there's a chance they could be spot on.

So, Page Six declared the name if Halle's first-born daughter was…

Clara Stella Berry-Aubrey.

Wow. If only that were true! She'd sound like an inbred middle-class farmer's wife in Suffolk. Unfortunately, here come the spoilsports at People magazine, with their dour attitude and their 'facts', revealing that the child will actually be called…

Nahla Ariela Aubry.

BORING! Halle should be ashamed of herself and I demand a rethink. I vote for Audrey Logan Berry-Aubry. Come on Halle. Change that name NOW!