THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER

Jade Goody, who unfortunately isn't showing any signs of fading back into obscurity just yet, has found herself an unlikely admirer in the form of a prince. No, not a fictional prince from a pantomime that she will probably 'star' in this time next year; a real life and incredibly rich one - Prince Azim of Brunei.

Apparently, the billionaire playboy wanted to meet her, as he has previously shown a keen interest in 'reality stars' (well he's obviously not familiar with 'Celebrity Big Brother' then). Not only was he willing to waste his precious time in her company, he also reportedly gave her a gift.

Jade was telling anyone who would listen or that could understand her speak that:

"He wanted to meet me. He gave me a ring, it's huge, full of diamonds. He said, 'Take this.' I was like, 'I can't.'" Before snatching it out his hands and desperately trying to jam it onto one of her sausage fingers.

Jade squealed on:

"I haven't got it valued yet but he had one that was very similar and that is worth £3m."

Keep telling yourself that, Jade, we all know it's probably one of those sweet rings from a packet of Haribo.

Jade continued, somewhat implausibly:

"I have met so many people through him. Like Johnny Depp and Mariah Carey. So now I'm going to America with someone who looks after Will Smith and Halle Berry and they have taken a real interest in me and I have go a lot of work lined up in America."

Although I for one would never want to wish someone like Jade any sort of success, at least America showing interest (however unlikely and deluded the prospect seems), would give us a respite from get howling squawk for at least a short while until they turf her out on her ear.