ROCKY VII, VIEWERS NIL

It looks as though Sylvester Stallone will have to invest in a few more cases of Human Growth Hormone as he's just been signed up to do another two action films. At the sprightly age of 61, a time when some people would be thinking twice about that arduous walk to the paper shop and wrestling a bag of Werther's Originals to the floor seems like too much of a challenge, Sly has agreed to produce and star in the movies.

'Rocky Balboa' has been a major success at the box office, and the latest 'Rambo' opened to rapturous applause last weekend in the US, so what do you imagine these next two films might be? Yes, another sequel to each. Brilliant! In a year when the 'Cloverfield' monster turned out to be Godzilla in a right mood, who could possibly say that Hollywood is running out of ideas.

The films are due to start filming in 2009, because Sylvester has to start another new franchise by remaking the 'Death Wish' films. Who could possibly say Hollywood izzzz...

No details on the plot yet. Presumably Rambo will be taking on the Iranians and Rocky will be battling with a weak bladder. Actually, I might go and watch that. Better than him getting hammered around the ring as usual.